Neighbors and the landlord blacklisted
I am really too traumatized right now to be writing this blog-post. My complex PTSD has become unbearable. I am having difficulty thinking clearly and speaking and doing things because of extreme trauma but it felt really important to write this post.
I’m blacklisting some of my neighbors and the landlord of my apartment building at Himlastigen 52 Umeå, Sweden.
I am extremely pissed off because of the unfair treatment of me in my apartment building. I live in the middle of the apartment building so I have four neighbors. All of them are noisy. I’ve had difficulty sleeping at night because of noises from the neighbor upstairs. He rattles almost every night very late at night and is sawing sometimes as well late at night. During daytime he plays the piano and drills often. The neighbor downstairs plays very loud music regularly. Sometimes after 22.00 at weeks and sometimes with a very heavy bass so that my windows are shaking. The neighbors on the right side of me have had a barking dog who barked during the days and late at night. The neighbor on the left side slams the door loudly and other neighbors as well are slamming the doors very loudly and they have the guts to complain on me. I never complained on them. I got a note in the mail-drop from the landlord saying “there have been sound disturbances, several neighbors have complained about loud screaming days and nights in the apartment building. If you know where it comes from get in touch with me.”
I was screaming when I was having torture sessions of pain because of rape memories and knife cutting in my childhood and because of my constant itching. I did not scream loudly every day and night. Other than screaming sounds I was screaming things like “die rapist” “I cant take this anymore” “I want to die”. They heard that I was suffering. So that was very heartless of them to be complaining like that. The inhabitants in this building received a manual-book in the mail drop recently called “house courage-from worry to consideration”, about ringing the doorbell or dropping a note to Ask what’s going on if your neighbors are screaming but they did not follow it. They did not care about that and the landlord didn’t either. But I don’t know whom of the neighbors complained on me though. I don’t think the neighbor upstairs complained because he dropped me a friendly note in my mail-drop some years ago offering help And also called The Social Services but I do not want any help from the social services because I have had bad experiences with the social services. The neighbors who did complain did not seem to know where the screaming came from.
Blame my screaming on the Psychiatry instead. They released me from the hospital when I was weighing only 34.9 kilos and they knew about the rape memories and the suicide attempts. The psycho staff at the psychiatry treated me horribly. There were a few who were more neutral but most were really psycho. I will write about that in a coming blog post and write all about what they did. I was not allowed to get angry as a child. I am always a child inside so it is not fair that only small children are allowed to scream in an apartment building, that is discriminating. I am a free spirit and not a robot. My higher self told me that I have a lot of instinctual urges. I’m overburdened and need to relieve myself. I am a shaman at heart and one with nature and animals. Sometimes when I get angry I shape-shift into a wild cat so blame the cat why don’t you… To live constricted and confined is not the truth. People can’t expect it to be quiet in an apartment building And certainly not when they are noisy themselves that is absurd. If they want silence move to a house or cottage in the countryside or a cushioned cell in a mental institution. If they choose to live in an apartment they have to expect some noise. Tell the dog to silence his barking and the child and the infant to stop screaming and the birds to stop singing, People don’t have the right to do that, the ego does not have the driver’s license. But I would not contact the landlord about this because I’m used to not being taken seriously and being treated fairly by so-called authorities. I called the landlord where I lived in the apartment before this one when I lived at Marieberg And said that the neighbor who complained about my singing were quarreling almost every evening with a man very loudly so why would she have the right to complain on me? but he was reluctant to contact them to give them a warning because he said that It might turn into “pie throwing” between them and me, like I would behave like that, I´m not that immature…That was very unfair of him to give me a reply like that So I don’t know if he contacted them. In the apartment I lived in at Marieberg, before My current one, the psycho next door was complaining about my singing. She knocked on the door once and also complained to Bostaden. I got seven complaint letters from Bostaden. The first time she complained was a Saturday 14.00 in the day. She took notes of all of the times in the day I was singing. She said she was on sick leave and cannot tolerate singing but she did not have a problem when I was playing music though, it was just my singing she was bothered about for some reason…. A male visitor in her apartment sang himself once. She would copy my clothing outfits and copy my decorations that I had in the window, it was very creepy, very similar to the movie Single White Female. I was Living there for seven years and it was very traumatizing. There was a lack of apartments for rent in Umeå at that time so I had to wait for a long time until I found a new apartment. I was out a lot of the time or locked myself in the bathroom since I did not want to hear noises from her because it triggered me because of the unfairness, also because there were some muscular men visiting her sometimes, I was afraid they might hurt me. Because of those experiences there the experiences in this apartment building made the trauma double because the wounds were torn. These harassment’s by neighbors were carried over from past lives when I was the victim of smear campaigns and extreme persecution because of my shamanic religion. These are very deep wounds within me.
The neighbors and the landlord can say what they want. The ego does not have the driver’s license. They’re not aligned with Divine truth and everything that is not aligned with Divine truth has to fall away so they will fall away sooner or later…