My trauma is serious
I am blacklisting the psychiatry at NUS in Umeå, Sweden. I was signed out from the psychiatry wednesday last week. I was on compulsory care for about 19 days. The psycho psychiatry staff treated me horrendously psycho. I am so deeply shocked and shattered. They don’t have the competence to meet and treat an extremely traumatized and raped person because most of them are psycho.
I need urgent trauma treatment. My complex PTSD has become unbearable. I am having difficulty thinking and speaking and doing things because of extreme trauma.
The suffering I have endured is beyond what any living person would be able to survive. It’s a huge miracle that I am living today. I haven’t gotten the help and support that I need. My trauma is serious.
But I know that the psychiatry can’t offer me anything other than Hotel Rex and crackers in plastic covers. Or some brain frying. I don’t want help from people who use ECT on patients. I’m strongly against that sort of treatment. I need the best professional help. The help the psychiatry could offer me was for me to abreact my anger on them.
The heartless psycho boss at the psychiatric avd came to speak to me in my room when I was staying at the psychiatry. I had told her before how unacceptable the staff had been treating me but she did not take that seriously. She was speaking to me with a very unpleasant psycho voice.
I told her that I was being treated very heartless. She said to me with a peculiar emotionless nonchalant psycho tone of voice that she makes sure that the staff are treating the patients well… Electric eel.
In the corridor she spoke to me with an incredibly spiteful snake list cheerful nonchalant tone so incredibly psycho that the blood in my veins froze. A person who is not an extreme psycho do not speak to an extremely traumatized patient the way she and some of the other psycho staff spoke to me…
Because of my complex PTSD and agoraphobia I was not able go to the dining room at the psychiatry in the state I am in. I was served food in my room until the 7th of august when a male nurse of the psychostaff said I had to go to the dining room if I would eat any food. I did not get any dinner to eat and no night snack either.
The 8th of august I did not receive any breakfast lunch or afternoon snack. At dinner time an incompetent wuss male doctor came into my room. I said leave me alone. I had told him to leave me alone before because of how he treated me. I was too afraid and traumatized because of my PTSD and Agora Phobia to go out in the corridor to go to the examination room to take a blood test. He said “please” with a stressed voice, then walked away and said “nähä” and slammed the door. A professional psychiatry doctor does not treat a traumatized patient like that. He later took the blood test in my room instead. He came into my room again at dinner time on the 8th and when I said leave me alone he said “no I have to talk to you.” He said that I had said no thank you to food. I said I had not done that. I yelled “BURN!!!” Then an “objective” psycho male nurse who had spoken to me earlier whom I never wanted to have anything to do with again because of his unacceptable behavior fetched dinner for me and later a night snack.
On the 9th of august I did not receive any breakfast lunch or afternoon snack. A male nurse who I think must have been an angel since he was the only empathetic nurse in the Psychiatry avd that I knew of and had a very different energy than the rest of the psychiatry staff asked me if I wanted dinner. He was the only one I felt that I could talk to and have a somewhat decent conversation with compared to the other incompetent imbeciles in the avd.
The 13th a female psycho nurse asked me if I wanted lunch. I was too traumatized to answer. Got no lunch. The 14th of August the psycho who had said I had to go to the dining room if I would eat any food asked me “don’t you want any dinner?” I told him to leave me alone. The angelic nurse came later and brought me dinner instead. The 15th I got no breakfast and no snack. The 16th I got no breakfast and no dinner. The 17th I got no breakfast and did not want any lunch because of a psycho male nurse. Got no snack. The psycho who had denied me food entered into my room and told me that the angelic male nurse who I usually talked to was not there tonight so he had to help me instead. I said “leave me alone psycho.” He would not leave so I locked myself in the bathroom. He said “I will be back.” I said “you will not, psycho.” He left and entered my room again after a while. He had fetched a psycho pervert male nurse to frighten me and exercise power over me. (That psycho perv nurse had touched me unpleasantly on my shoulder before another time when I had stayed at the Psychiatry years ago, a creep who stopped outside of a sperm bank when we were walking in the hospital to show me a picture on his cell phone of when he was swimming. He spoke mostly about himself and said if I had been good I might get signed out with an unpleasant voice.) I locked myself in the bathroom. The psycho nurse said “she can’t do that.” I said “NO ONE has the right to decide anything over me! Leave me alone psychos!!!” The psycho nurse returned on his own again after a while and held the door handle to prevent me from walking out. I removed his hand and said “stop it or I will report you.” I locked myself in the bathroom again. He said “I’m outside of the bathroom. I will wait until you come out or we will have to open the door.” I said “burn dickhead.” He said “I will wait until you come out.” He said “if you’re waiting for the angel to help you he can’t help you because he’s not here.” (The angelic male nurse had helped me before when the psycho nurse was being hostile towards me. He heard me screaming and walked into the room and asked “what’s going on here…? He stood and listened to our conversation to support me and did not leave until the conversation was finished. After that he took over and spoke to me instead of the psycho nurse.) I walked out and sat down in the common room. The psycho came after me and said “we want to help you”. I said “you’re not helping me by harassing me.” He said “I want to talk to you.” I said “why the fuck would I want to talk to you psycho devul…???” He finally left. The next day a doctor signed me out.
I got a support person when I stayed at the psychiatry whom I never met who was going to remain for 4 weeks after I had been signed out but I got a letter yesterday that said that the support person had been dismissed and got no explanation for that. Scandalous the incompetence of the psychiatry …
The harassment’s by the psychiatry are carried over from past lives when I was the victim of smear campaigns and extreme persecution by the patriarchy because of my shamanic religion. The psychiatry and the patriarchy are the same energy.
Sophia Mary Magdalene – The one and only Pope
In 2020 I had a lot of spiritual awakenings and received many spiritual downloads of information from my higher self during torture sessions of pain and still do. I was guided by my higher self to share these messages that I’m going to share now to get the truth out because if I am not in my truth officially then the outside world is not in truth either. Everything that is not aligned with Divine truth has to fall away.
I have been meditating for many years up until the beginning of 2020, when my complex PTSD and Gadesszooks itch made it impossible to continue meditating. Through meditation many past lives were being revealed to me. In 2020 I found out through meditation that I had lived as Mary Magdalene in a past life. When I found out so many pieces fell into place. I understood where a lot of my deep sated rage over the church and the patriarchy that I carried within me came from.
My Original rage over the patriarchy came from the smear campaign by Simon Peter and the Roman Catholic Church in my past life as Mary Magdalene. I had written a book called The great revelation. The misogynist Simon Peter and the Roman Catholic Church wrote a reverse version of The great revelation called the Apocalypsis which is in the New Testament. Portraying the Virgin mother as controlled and chaste and portraying Mary Magdalene as the great Whore, as a smear campaign by the patriarchy to bring Mary Magdalene down.
To be controlled and chaste is a masculine ego energy. Senza una dona. The veiled woman is made invisible. The ego only sees himself. The Virgin Mother is a molded ego doll. She was sold short because she was robbed of her individuality. She is silenced. Prohibited to sing and practice her spirituality. I was harassed for several years and received complaints for my singing from a former neighbor. I also felt worked against by some people in a music school and folk University when I was singing there. This was carried over from the past life as Mary Magdalene. I wrote some about this in another blog-post called Neighbors and the landlord blacklisted.
The ego of the patriarchy believes that their way of being is the only right way of being and if you behave in any other way you’re a cheap hoe and get voted off and thrown out. The psychiatry has the same belief that you have to be like them – masculine, ego and “adult” in order to be accepted and receive respect and better treatment from them. In the political system you have to be masculine and “adult” and speak a scientific language of the ego in order to be accepted. The masculine ego energy is “adult” so also the females who play “adult” have a masculine ego energy. The feminine energy is wild and creative in nature.
Simon Peter claimed to be the first Pope but that is a big lie because there has only been one Pope and will only be one Pope in all dimensions and that is Sophia Mary Magdalene, Queen of the Heavens.
As above so below. I created this world. No one is above me and got any right to rule over me in any way.
My higher self told me that it’s time to take charge. I’m the only one who makes the rules and laws.
The patriarchy stealing my power was carried over to the monarchy stealing my power because the monarchy is governed by the church. They are the same energy. They are part of the false branch in the Mary Magdalene bloodline. Because they nestled into it. They are ego and not real.
There can only be one Queen in all dimensions and that is Sophia Mary Magdalene in the Queendom. There is no such thing as a Kingdom.
Everything that is not aligned with Divine truth has to fall away and the ego is not aligned with Divine truth so everything that is connected to the ego will fall away sooner or later. The ego does not have the driver’s license.
Simon Peter tried to steal my identity and my power, my sexuality and my spiritual wisdom and distort and falsify it. The pope is a misogynist rapist, incompetent Psychopathic fraud. A poor imitator, child murderer, lower vampiric entity, egomaniac, perverted criminal and a cheap hoe. He was just a big sham like all the other popes after Mary Magdalene.
The patriarchy and the false Pope tried to deny me of my power and my spirituality and took credit for something I did. This was a huge violation and rape on the divine feminine.
They tried to force their views and opinions on me.
I have been mute for many lifetimes. How can I speak at all when my tongue was cut off? I tried to open my mouth but no words comes out and when they do the judgments come hailing from the preacher. I do not speak the scientific language of the ego. It was created because of a locking of the heart. It is robotic and lacking emotion. It is lacking energy and is therefore pretty much useless.
I was blocked in expressing myself here because the feminine energies are not supported here now. The feminine is being undermined, ruled and silenced.
How could I be expected to do ANYTHING as an oppressed female in the world? I am not supported here and not allowed to be myself here. My pink lotus flower candles were thrown in a corner and replaced with a huge phallus statue.
The virgin mother portrayed as controlled and chaste is non existing. She is a contrasting opposite to the truth of the wild child. The so called mother is an illusion. I felt guilt as African Eve in the Garden of Eden because I did not want to get pregnant and give birth to sons of the ego. It was an illusion that I would have become a mother because I am a child and the child cant be responsible. I felt at a subconscious level like I was cheating on Christos but I was under the veil of forgetfulness and had forgotten that others were aspects of myself that I had repressed within me. I felt guilt over my primitive nature when we got stuck in the animalistic phase in Lemuria. I was feeling disconnected and detached and having difficulty integrating love and sexuality because of the disconnection between the masculine and feminine energies because of the locking of my heart after what happened in Lemuria. Christos was having difficulty reaching me because I locked my heart because when the sun became brighter in Lemuria that created a huge imbalance. I could not have reacted in any other way than locking my heart when that happened. This was when the ego mind came in because there was a need for survival. We did not have any ego before that. Demons came in. We got stuck in the animalistic phase.The sun magnified in order to shine light upon something that needed to be healed. Because I’m dreaming and everything that comes up in the subconscious dreamworld comes up to be healed.
I did not charge money for sex in the past life as Mary Magdalene but I did fuck around. But that was really no one else’s business. Sex is sacred and spiritual. It’s about merging with different aspects of myself.
If I would have wanted to become a prostitute for whatever reason I would have been unconditionally loved by Source either way because I was an innocent child.
There was originally a matriarchy and a Goddess culture on earth in the first civilization of Lemuria. The female was viewed as very sacred and holy and the feminine sexuality was also revered as very sacred and holy. It is very discriminating, sexist and unfair that man who fucks around has a high status in society while a female don’t.
I was forced into prostitution by a Jehovah’s witness priest in my incarnation in the 1800s, as Mexican and French Janice, a Mayan indian who was kidnapped and had to adapt to the civilized society. I was a lesbian in that life and was not interested in merging with men. But even if I had not been a lesbian the prostitution would have been equally traumatic of course. Prostitution is symbolic of the oppressed feminine having to sell herself short in order to adapt to the man’s world with patriarchal structures.
Eve was not a helper from man’s rib like the false Pope believes. What sort of inhumane view on people is that…? I am valuable as my own person. I am primarily a person and not a gender. The female is not the maid to clean up man’s shit. That is a soiling of the Goddess. The cat is independent and does not accept being told what to do. Eve did not come from Adam’s rib since she gave birth to him. The masculine energies are giving like the sun and the feminine energies are receptive. Dogs like to fetch things for the cat. Dogs are very active and love to be of service and to please. Dogs always follow cats around and is the protector and provider for the cat. The dog is horny and likes to lick 😛 the pussy cat.
The Roman Catholic Church are viewing the female like some sort of breeding machine without a right to her own body. Without a right to have an abortion if she wishes. “Give me a son in the name of Yeshua, he shall be there heir of my Empire.” Why don’t you create a clone of yourself instead egomaniac….????
I am dreaming a nightmare that the masculine energies are taking over in the world because I repressed them within me because of a fear of my masculine energies. That is why the so called Jesus was seen and heard but not Mary Magdalene.
Jesus, the so called Jesus Christ was not real. He was my repressed masculine energy and fears of the masculine. He is the ego and not real. He had self-hatred and an inferior complex because of his shortcomings. He was a conformed, judgemental carpenter and not real. I will allow myself to be the best.
So it was a big lie that it was Jesus suffering on the cross because it was the suffering of Mary Magdalene. It was the suffering from being raped by the demons of the ego of the patriarchy.
It is extremely dishonoring to be standing in the shadow of Jesus when it was my suffering and not the suffering of Jesus on the cross. The holy white dove is the spirit of Goddess Sophia. It did not belong to Jesus since there was no Jesus Christ. There was only Mary Magdalene Sophia Christ.
Jesus is not anything like Christos either. God Christos was never on this earth and Goddess Sophia is dreaming in higher dimensions so the masculine energies on this planet are the repressed energies of Sophia and not real.
Jesus does not look similar to Christos either. If I would describe the appearance of Christos he looks a bit like a Gorilla… The Goddess Sophia is more evolved than God Christos.
So it is a lie that Jesus was God’s only son because God does not have a son. Christos only has a daughter and that is Sophia who gave birth to this planet.
There is only Sophia and Christos and they are one in higher dimensions. The Divine feminine and Divine masculine Source energy.
The so called “Saint Peter” Simon Peter was not a saint, in fact he was the Antichrist. He and the unholy Roman Catholic Church and the Draconian branch of the Plantard’s are false branches in the Mary Magdalene Christ bloodline because they nestled into it. The monarchy and several of Americas presidents also belong to this false branch. They are ego and not real. They are part of the so called Satanic bloodline of the Illuminati. However Satan is not real. The patriarchy created Satanism and the devil as a part of the smear campaign on the divine feminine. They took the original Pagan symbols and distorted them into something evil. Lucifer comes from Venus, the Morning Star. The planet Venus vibrates in the energy of love and beauty and does not know of anything other than love. The devil is a distortion of Pan, the pagan fertility God. 666 is the number of Venus, the triple Goddess but the patriarchy turned it into the number of the Beast. They turned the pentagram which is a symbol for planet Venus into the symbol for Satan. They turned Poseidon’s sea-fork into the fire-fork of the devil. Hell comes from the Goddess Hel who healed spirits underground before they incarnated into a new body. There was nothing evil about that. Friday the 13th comes from the goddess Freya who was a positive fertility Goddess. The number 13 is the number of the Goddess and a has a very high frequency. When people believe that it will bring them bad luck it will often bring them bad luck because we create our reality with our beliefs. It is the law of attraction. Freya was drawn in a carriage by cats so the cat, particularly black cats were also being distorted into something evil and a bringer of bad luck. The patriarchy took these symbols and distorted them into something evil. They have the christian black and white thinking – good or bad, God or the Devil, Heaven or Hell, Divinity or dirt thinking. Evil is just an illusion and not real. Only love is real. The patriarchy started war with the mission to extinct the Pagan religions. The Bible is an ego based book of political propaganda written for the purpose of controlling people. The patriarchy were originally worshiping a warrior God and many of them are also worshiping Satan as well. There are some truths in the Bible since a lot of what is written in the Bible was taken from the Pagan religion but it’s mixed with a lot of lies and distortions.
The Madonna-Whore complex of the Patriarchy
Christianity and Islam and most other religions were created by the ego of the masculine because of their self-hatred and jealousy of the feminine spirituality that they did not have access to because of a disconnect between the masculine and feminine energies. Buddha was not real either of course. The patriarchy are not really against the feminine, they are against themselves because of self hatred and projecting that onto the feminine. The patriarchy are the opposite of spirituality because they are mainly in their lower chakras that got to do with power, money, materialism and survivalism of the ego. The patriarchy are very weak. Since they were lacking power they had to steal power. They have stolen their so called power and taken their positions by force. The only cheap hoes in this world are the patriarchy. They are pornographic cheap hoes and jealous bitches. This is what they are projecting on the female. The women in the world who has these traits has the ego energy of the patriarchy in female bodies.
The patriarchy would not need to repress their sexuality so heavily if they did not have a problem with their own sexuality. They view sex as something dirty because of their own dirty minds, therefore they have a Madonna-Whore complex. They are projecting onto the woman. The patriarchy are in the porn industry as both male and female pornstars who have chosen to be pornstars. Old pervs exposed. They are using power and control and are violating and degrading the feminine. Keep your dirt to yourselves, pervs. When it comes to women who are forced into prostitution and porn, and trafficking victims and children who are forced into the porn industry, they are the oppressed feminine. The porn industry is very corrupt and has to fall away along with the patriarchy and everything else that is not aligned with divine truth.
There is nothing dirty or sinful with sex as sex is sacred and spiritual. However if you are only in your lower chakras separated from your higher spiritual chakras sex becomes separated from love and love and sex is naturally connected. Sex that is controlled and chaste is a sign of stagnation and religious brainwash. Eve original in paradise was very instinctual, natural, primitive and not controlled or chaste in any way. True spirituality is wild, natural, instinctual and creative. The energy of the sacral chakra is sexual and creative. Sexuality and creativity is connected.
When I was 2-3 years old my father raped me. When I was 7 years old I was group raped in the forest. These rapes I had repressed directly after they happened until they resurfaced some years ago in my 30’s. These rapes were carried over from past lives. I have been raped in most of my past lives. They were originally carried over from a past life as Irish Anne McKenzie in the medieval age. She was raped by her priest father Donald McKenzie. That life was carried over from the past life as Mary Magdalene who was raped energetically by the patriarchy and papacy. In the past life as Anne McKenzie I was also group raped in the forest by boys, by order from my father and tortured in a torture chamber with nails through my hands and other torture methods before I was executed for witchcraft which was also by order from my father. I was killed by a knight who pierced my heart with a sword. In my current life my biological Jesus loving father raped me when I was 2 or 3 years old. I can’t remember the exact age but I think that I was three because my parents split up when I was 3 years old and I don’t think my father would have dared to rape me when he was living with my mother. I only see in the rape flashbacks that I was very small and that the rape took place in a bathroom. When I was 7 years old I was group raped in the forest in Sollefteå, northern Sweden. I don’t remember the rape very clearly, I see only flashbacks. There were boys around my age or older who raped me and also forced me to suck dick. The husband of the Nanny was masturbating and filming with a video camera while they raped me. The rapists laughed when they raped me. They cut me with a knife and threatened to shoot me if I told anyone. They told me that it was my fault that I got raped because I was dirty and a whore. How could I be a whore, I was just an innocent child and was not sexually active… I got thoughts like maybe I got punished for having been running around playing in my panties in the garden outside of the family’s house in the summertime, because the conservative female neighbor had told me that I was a nasty girl for doing that. I got the belief that I had to be a “good girl” so that I would stay safe and not get hurt or get punished by people. To stay as low-key as possible. Anne McKenzie was hiding my true Mexican wild child because of a fear of punishment. My true energy is Mexican, extreme habanero pepper, passionate, instinctual, bold, horny with a hot fiery temper, not low key or controlled in any way. The Mexican energy is my true identity so the Mexican energy have been present in all of my incarnations. But in some of my incarnations the Mexican in me has been asleep more or less because of a locking of the heart. The Mexican energy is my true energy because it is the energy of home and home is where the heart is. After the rapes I got a strong underlying belief that I was not deserving of love but mostly deserving of punishment and harsh treatment because of what happened to me. After being raped as a child I felt reduced into an object and humiliated and degraded. I did not feel valued as a person. Even though I know in my heart that I was an innocent child and did not deserve to be treated that way, the cell memories and the subconscious beliefs was echoing within me very loudly. I was only a child and did not know of anything anything else than what I had been taught. I had nothing else to compare to.
My inner child left my body and have been outside of my body since the rape when I was 2-3. I hear my outer child in the suars in my apartment building whining 24-7. I have been waiting for urgent trauma help ever since the rapes happened. I wanted the ambulance and police to come. I locked my heart and got very silent as a child in school after the rapes, sometimes I could go through a whole school day and not say a word because of fear and trauma. I did not receive the help that I was in urgent need of. It has been very heavy carrying this traumatic burden within for so many years. Being raped is among the worst things one can go through. When rape memories resurfaced the pain was so unbearable that all I could think about was that I wanted to die. The rape memories made me suffer through too many torture sessions of extreme pain and indescribable terror that felt like every cell in my body was being raped and killed. It also felt like black demons were attacking my auric field. Razorsharp pain blazing through me. The rapes caused me horrendous suffering. It led to complex PTSD, agoraphobia, gluten intolerance, panic attacks almost every night for a long period of time, eating disorders, severe PMS hormonal imbalance which almost broke me down completely, illness, deep depression, almost constant itching for almost two years now, almost complete isolation in the end because of a loss of trust in humanity and seven suicide attempts that did not work.
My so called father – the rapist
Pools of blood on the floor in the bathroom where the rape took place. Echoing red trauma blackened rotten to the core sickening demonic pedophile. Empty hollow soulless charred demon incestuous rapist psycho perpetrator laser murderer. Commit such horrid acts. You’re Breathing iciness. He would have preferred a son but the daughters could be used and exploited in some way. They might come in handy.
Disgusting pedophile. Scratchy hoarse repellent voice you deserve nothing but daggers thrown at you. Grotto down yourself in ugliness. You should be locked up behind bars. Ice cold wind gust poop eater. Psycho rapist born in the depths of the demons dwelling. Talkative calculating fake snake heartless psycho get rid of you pornographic demon with ingrained dirt on mind perverted dirty digger. Disgusting grotty voice and groping hands.Thoroughly rotten genomfula shitwaterfall. How he fuxk do you live with yourself Lillkillen junior lion-cub, the king of para gold-digging Eagle. Sleazy pimp with groping hands. He wants to order a mail-order wife to use for fuck and as a maid. Tie the bitch to the stove. Sloppy neglectful black sheep so called fathers mixed grill. Poop roaring hockey enthusiast bawling monstrous poop package. The child was raped in a red room. My trauma is repeated every second of the day. How the fuck do you think that feels? You’re not my father. Let her carry this burden. How upset you get by trifles child… Men also have hormonal imbalance. Give a fuck about what happens to the little life of that infant scrap doll. Throw her in a corner and don’t think about that incident again. I will use my daughter as a sex doll before she grows up and pour liquor in her throat so she wont remember anything from what happened in case she should get cranky and whiny, obnoxious screaming whining shit kid. Should get a whipping as well. She got no right to be upset. She should do what I say. I’m the boss in this household. I do whatever the fuck I want with my daughter. It is my rights that are right. My daughter does not have any rights. She is a breeding sex doll and nothing more. She can be CUTE sometimes but that is her only task. I’m a nice bloke, always so self sacrificing. I do everything for everyone. Drive people around everywhere. Not my daughters though, I don’t have time for them because I am too busy playing street angel. What does not benefit me I have no use of. Profitable motives always. Serve me breakfast in bed children, you owe me. You owe me a fuck, kid since you’ve been so cranky screaming lately. Fuck whatever is closest at hand. Take off my belt and prepare for the rape. A child rape took place, does that turn you on psychopathic pedophile? No one was there to help me in my traumatized state. Give a fuck if she gets traumatized for life. My perverted sexual needs for power comes first. That’s enough. Hush. Your tears I don’t give a shit about. Your screams fall upon deaf ears. Who gave you the right to buy an ice cream, child? He asked me scornfully. Rape the daughter, why not? No one will know. I’ll sedate her and if she would remember I will get rid of her in some discreet way. She is just a fuck object in my eyes. I’m a nice bloke. Murky auric field with black demons flying around. Draconian offspring with a round content belly. Pale white sickening pedophile pornographic perpetrator with insane shiny eyes of a lunatic. Eliminate all opposition. Beat up small kids relentless murder robot. The primitive reptilian murder machine will stop at nothing if his ego feels threatened. Joke like nothing’s happened. You make me sick.
I’m breathing and my heart is beating but that hurts.
Because of rapes I live with constant fear and constant threat, not being able to relax and stay present in my body. I feel a crawling under my skin, the constant reverberations of rape. Because of rapes I am constantly running from myself, because it feels too painful to stay in my body, in my cells. Living in constant terror in my body underneath my skin and struggling, fighting for survival each day. Gasping for air in an icecold instillment. It gets hard to breathe. It gets hard to live. You’re totally devoid of emotions, soulless rapist demon. You took everything away from me violent childraprist bloodthirsty childmurderer. Burn, insane horrid sickening beast.
I have been a psychiatric patient in three lives that I know of. I was in a mental hospital in a past life in Iceland in the 1920s because of trauma. I fell asleep in Vatnajökull. This was an extremely traumatic life like most of my lives.
I was sexually abused by my christian stepfather and I had been beaten before that in the orphanage and had a lot of traumatic experiences in life.
My name was Maria in this life because the energy was carried over from the past life as Mary Magdalene.
A mental caregiver in the mental hospital raped me.
I was falsely diagnosed with schizophrenia. I was a shaman and had a strong connection to the spirit world and had a difficulty sometimes shutting off the voices from the spirit world that were coming in.
I would merge with the energy of a wild cat and other animals and take on the energy of the animal. Most people judged me as crazy.
I committed suicide in this life after I had been released from the mental hospital. The psychiatry was carried over from the past life as Mary Magdalene because the patriarchy and the psychiatry are the same energy.
I was a shaman in the life as Mary Magdalene as well and would merge with the energy of animals.
The patriarchy was having difficulty handling a wild child like Mary Magdalene who had such outlandish ideas because they were in need of feeling control.
Psychiatric diagnoses are also smear campaigns. Because the psychiatry identify themselves with the ego, they mostly see ego and sickness in other people.
All psychiatric diagnoses have spiritual explanations but the psychiatry don’t see things from a higher perspective because they are very limited in their understanding since they are primarily ruled by their lower chakras. They’re very square in their thinking.
Psychology books like the Bible are of the ego and not real. The Psychiatry judges people as being crazy like Christianity judges people as being sinful.
The Psychiatry and Christianity are on the same page in the manual book, staring at yellow boxes with a very one-sided judgmental view of the snake eye from the ground. They’re up in their heads, constipated packed with shit.
Since a majority of psychiatrists and psychiatric staff identify with the ego they get energy from patients by projecting their own sickness onto the patient.
They see things they don’t like about themselves in the patient. It is the ego that is sick and projecting that onto the Goddess.
In a past life in Sweden in the 70s I was named Jenny and was also a psychiatric patient because of trauma. I had been sexually abused by my christian stepfather and had also been exposed to racism and homophobia from people. I was beaten because I was a finnish norwegian Sami and a lesbian. I worked as a bartender and had some alcohol problems so I was also in a dependency Psych. I received Electroconvulsive therapy at the psychiatry against my will. There was never anything wrong with my head, it was my heart that was hurting because of trauma.
ECT and the straitjacket is about patriarchal brainwash and mind-fuck.
I have not had ECT in my current incarnation. I do not want to have anything more to do with the psychiatry and psychiatric staff because of their treatment of patients. They are still to this day using ECT on patients and using it by force. ECT is damaging for the brain. I had no idea that ECT was still being used today when I first got in contact with the psychiatry in my current incarnation. If I had known about these past lives earlier I probably would not have wanted to have anything to do with the psychiatry. My higher self told me that I needed to heal some wounds connected to the psychiatry in this life so I understand why that happened because it was energy carried over from past lives. So it would have happened either way.
I found it very healing to abreact on the psycho staff at the psychiatry during my recent stay at the psychiatry. My redemption had been planned before this lifetime. I felt that I got revenge on most of them which was necessary for my healing. They let me scream and lash out on them and did not defend themselves when I screamed at them. They even waited sometimes for me to abreact on them until they closed the door to my room. They waited until I had screamed “die!!!” and seemed more neutral and a bit sympathetic after I had abreacted on them. It was no coincidence that the people that I needed to abreact on appeared usually at the time when I needed to abreact on them. What was unhealed happened in the right order for me to heal it. The harasser appeared because of repressed rage. He really loves me so much. His heart was pumping because he was near me. He wants me to use him as a dumpster and will not say a word when I scream profanity at him. Because he is a sort of angel in disguise here for me to abreact myself on him so that I can heal wounds and ascend. But they don’t deserve to be a part of my reality after how they treated me. To accept oppression is not love. I have been using my anger as a transformational force. It’s about getting rid of the ego trolls. They are the ego and not real. I feel like I have finished them now and this has lead to a profound spiritual awakening that only love is real. They appeared for me in order for me to finish them and seal this story.
I will write more about what happened at the psychiatry in a later blog-post because a lot of what happened there I have not had the energy to bring up in this blog-post.
False female stereotypes
Lower vampiric entities like priests and popes designed several outfits for people with boobs and rosebush like the veiled Virgin Mary sitting knitting and Janice in pink hotpants. Another stereotype in costume is the Barbie doll. Barbie girls have the snake energy of the priesthood. They’re vibrating in the energy of the snake in a female body. They are in a female body and are having errors with their ID cards. They are having troubles absorbing the fairy food. They view the fairy from the eye of a snake on the ground and becomes a clouded judge for the fairy. They have a distorted view on the fairy as a fuck doll. They’re projecting their own bimboness on the fairy. The priesthood designed a narrow outfit for the fairy to keep the fairy from flying. Turn her into an object so that he can feel cockalorum in his delusional mind in order to harvest fairy food. He is using the fairy as a dumpster because of his lousiness and shame over his sexual perversion. The fairy is a fairy and the vampires are projecting with sexist shit. The babygirl was not born with a short skirt, high heels and lipstick on. The Rams have molded the female into a form to suit his needs. Trying to fence her in so that she knows her place. She is made Invisible. Her personality is not visible underneath concealer. They have decided what is important and valuable and decided that the perceived masculine traits and ways of being are what is important and valuable and the perceived feminine are not. Turning things into their advantage and smearing the barbie doll with mascara. The miniature men are also ruling the fashion and beauty industry so they are making the rules and deciding what the model should look like and be like. People have the right to dress however they want and look like they want without being judged or disrespected so these gender roles are very unfair. The ice skating princess was given a shock pink dress with frills bought in a second hand store. The Barbie doll in the toy store is not wearing a suit because she is not expected to have any powerful positions in a man’s world. But the suit is not a symbol for power, it’s a symbol of the ego. Toy cars are not sold in the “girls section” in the toy store. The girl is not expected to have any control of her destination in life. Some men act as though cars would be so much more important than fashion for example. Environmentally unfriendly cars are damaging the planet, poisoning Mother Earth. When Darth Vader drives the car he drives the car down into the ditch, into the abyss…
I have been carrying much rage over this oppression, being dishonored and belittled as a person. When I am writing a person I mean a female because the female is primarily a person and not a gender. No one can oppress me because of my gender because I am not a gender. I am a person. I am primarily a female but I have both feminine and masculine energies. I am not my body. I am not gender-bound. I am a unique creature and can’t be labeled.
The patriarchy are actors and not being real and authentic. They are holding up a false facade and trying to act like they have it all together. The Bible and most other religious texts are full of judgmental preaching, condemnation and satanic ramblings from the primitive reptilian ego mind. Punishment for not living up to unreasonable ideals and expectations. Party poppers, acting like controlled spiritual robots. That’s why religion is so disciplined because it’s created by marsian warpower. It’s incomplete, lacking creativity, loving energies and playfulness. Orderliness vibrates in the energy of the ego. Its is destructive. Working and struggling is not aligned with Divine truth because in higher dimensions we can easily manifest and create our own realities. There can be beauty and love in anything. There are no right or wrong. This is a very low dimension. We are deep down in the depths of unconsciousness. It is not possible to be perfect with the ego down here while we are having the human experience. The patriarchy want to give the impression that they are helping people but they are not helping anyone by trying to be perfect. They are not opening up for and allowing others to be real and authentic. It is the most beautiful gift you can give to someone to make them feel unconditionally loved. Perfectionism is just an illusion because what is perceived to be perfect to one person might not be perfect to another… Why perceived flaws arise within me a lot is for me to learn to accept and love all parts of myself without judging them as good or bad because there is beauty and love in everything. To feel unconditionally loved and accepted also with the ego. To feel loved also when I am greedy, filled with rage, screaming profanity and throwing food on the floor. When I am rebellious sulking, snappy, emotional, sloppy, messy, whining, impulsive, explosive and outrageous. Everything is the way it is. The ego is not real. Only love is real. Judgments of the ego mind because of false beliefs taught creates views of certain things and behaviors as negative. It’s about transforming those beliefs and turning darkness into light.
The Child is the truth
The 3D reptilians on this earth are child oppressors. Oppression against children and gender, race, sexual orientation is equally horrendous. The child is the truth. The child sits behind the desk at the radio station. The child was evolved and perfect the way she was when she incarnated here from the heavens. She did not need to be molded and formed by the ego of adult impersonators who have rancid eggs in the fridge. The adult impersonators in this world are not mature or adult. They are stuck in old wheel tracks living in medieval plague. The Child and grownup are sometimes called childish like it was something negative, meaning that they are immature but it is not the child that is immature, it is the ego that is immature. The child does not have much ego. The child is worthy of deep respect. The child is not feeling valuable as an individual because she was reduced into a miniature doll. The child knows. The child does not want more apple juice. The child does not like prickly pears. The imagination and creativity of the child are memories from higher dimensions. Most of what is seen and experienced in this dimension are memories from past lives and higher dimensions so the child is not making things up and just being imaginative. The child looks into space and gives birth to gigantic magical butterflies. The child got a cosmic giraffe view in the corn field and expands in the Amazon. When grownups tell the child that she is making things up or that she is being silly and childish they are disrespecting the child and making her doubt her intuition and truth. That is why the child would doubt her intuition at times because she was taught to think very logical and use a scientific language of the ego in this world. I’m not joking in any way. I’m never joking. Don’t want to be a clown. I’m just being myself and being brutally honest. I want to be taken seriously. The ego knowledge blocks the uniqueness, individuality and creativity of the child. In school the child was taught to think very logically and this causes the child to abandon a large portion of her intuition, imagination and forgetting the original sign language. She drifted further and further away from her roots. The child did not need to go to school and learn knowledge of the ego. Knowledge of the ego creates suffering. It made the child age and become adult. The child was not supposed to become adult or learn to be graceful or be anything that she is not. The child can’t be responsible for anything here because she is a child. The child was not meant to stop playing just because she was aging. The child is the truth so the child does not grow up. Time is an illusion. Humans invented the clock. So the child is always a child and the ego is not real. It is the illusion of the ego that causes the child to age. In higher dimensions the beings are very childlike, playful and creative. They have the giraffe view under a violet waterfall. They are humanoid and animalistic in nature. A Lucia becomes very childlike because she returns to her truth and innocence. She has cleared the ego that was blocking her inner child. The child can’t be playing unrestricted on a narrow square. Playing is the truth. The child was not meant to drift away from playing. Survivalism is not real. Work and struggle is not real. Those are false ideologies of the ego. The child is the center not the lordship of the ego. The lordship of the ego gets impatient in the garden and wants to visit the market to buy some new gadgets.
The matriarchy is the natural truth that we have to return to
There was originally a matriarchy on earth and was meant to be that way. There was originally paradise on earth and that was because of the matriarchy. It was meant to remain that way. The matriarchy is the natural truth that we have to return to. It is either matriarchy or patriarchy. A matriarchy is natural because the feminine is more evolved than the masculine and the feminine higher chakras are more spiritual and spirit always has to lead the way.
The Corona virus is an ego virus
It is not that the masculine energies are ego because the ego is not real. In the highest dimensions we don’t have an ego. However the lower masculine rootchakra and the solar plexus are connected to the ego and that is what created a fear of the masculine. After what happened in Lemuria the fall of Atlantis occured because of a misuse of technology which was also the ego taking over, this ego virus was then carried over to Adam and Eve. The ego was the snake in paradise. Later in the age of Aries, ego energies from Mars came in strongly. This was carried over to Mary Magdalene when she got contaminated by demons, it was the demons of the ego of the patriarchy. Today we can see it again with the Corona virus which is an ego virus. Why it came from a bat is because the bat is symbolic of dreaming. Batman in the cellar. The Red Dragon is asleep underneath the Earth. The virus was carried over from the Roman Catholic Church and the Draconian Plantards, which are false branches in the Mary Magdalene Christ bloodline. They are reptilians from the super-patriarchy of Alpha Draconis in Orion. They are ego and not real. They incarnated uninvited to Earth. It was a replay of what happened in the galactic war in Lyra.
I am blacklisting region Västerbotten because they sent me a letter that said “soon it’s your turn to vaccinate yourself against covid-19.” Trying to palm off. That is not OK. The letter also saying that vaccination is the most effective way to avoid getting seriously ill or dying of covid-19. What do they know about that? I would never vaccinate myself against covid-19 because I do not want to modify my body and system in an artificial way. There might be side effects and the vaccination can lead to difficulties in thinking clearly and block intuition and abilities to connect to spirit. The vaccine will stay in the body for the rest of my life and that is not worth it. Getting vaccinated is symbolic of being forced upon other people’s beliefs and opinions.
I’m not here to help people
Before you write me any messages asking for my help I will say this: Don’t do that. I’m not here to help people. It’s not for my highest good to help people. I know that some people believe that Mary Magdalene came to earth to help people but I did not come here originally to help people or to be some sort of Savior for humankind. Why I can’t help people:
⁕ I’m a child and extremely traumatized. I can’t be responsible. ⁕ I am receptive and not giving. ⁕ I should not do anything I don’t want to do ⁕ To put myself first is self-love and love is the truth.
⁕ It would be extremely self-sacrificing of me to help people because I have been forced to put other people before myself for as long as I can remember because of the man’s world we’re living in and have been unseen and unheard for centuries and been treated like a doormat. There needs to be balance and compensation. I deserve to rest and be served. I should not have to lift a finger again.
⁕ I deserve to be completely free and spiritually autonomous now and only be around evolved, healthy and loving people who are not in need of my help.
⁕ By posting this blog-post it may seem as though I’m helping people but that is really an illusion. Duality is an illusion. There is only me here so I’m only helping myself and when I do that the outer world shifts.