My trauma is serious
I am blacklisting the psychiatry at NUS in Umeå, Sweden. I was signed out from the psychiatry wednesday last week. I was in compulsory care for about 19 days. The psycho psychiatry staff treated me horrendously psycho. I am so deeply shocked and shattered. They don’t have the competence to meet and treat an extremely traumatized and raped person because most of them are psycho. Their behavior was totally outrageous, psycho and Criminal. Totally unacceptable. The repercussions from this will be severe for violating and offending me so horrendously. They’re so going down….
I need urgent trauma treatment. My complex PTSD has become unbearable. I am having difficulty thinking and speaking and doing things because of extreme trauma.
No words in the universe can describe the horrendous torture I’ve endured in the deepest depths of the abyss. Mountains of pain are heavy to carry. Cried too many oceans of tears.
The suffering I have endured is beyond what any living person would be able to survive. It’s a huge miracle that I am living today. I haven’t gotten the help and support that I need. My trauma is serious. I am stonedead inside after the extreme torture of my soul. It feels like the universe has become extinct.
But I know that the psycho psychiatry can’t offer me anything other than Hotel Rex and crackers in plastic covers. Or some brain frying. I don’t want help from people who use ECT on patients. I’m strongly against that sort of treatment. I need the best professional help. The help the psychiatry could offer me was for me to abreact my anger on them.
I can’t take care of myself I can’t be responsible because I am a child I have been carrying too heavy burdens all of my life and have been struggling and working too hard when I was not meant to work and struggle I am half and extremely traumatized because of rapes and the disconnect from God Christos it’s like my upper body has been torn from my lower body because me and Christos are one. We’re like a cogwheel and cannot function without each other. I am a wounded, handicapped child. Christos is also dependent on me because we are one. My inner child left my body after the disconnect from Christos and has been outside of my body since. I hear my outer child in the suars in my apartment building whining 24-7. I cannot be alone in the state I am in I cannot think about certain things it gets blank I’m a mess every day has been a huge struggle for so many years just to get through the days and I have just been laying and crying and screaming through many days barely being able to get out of bed I am extremely fatigued and have difficulty moving also because of itching. I am so frightened of most things just a sound makes me jump and startles me interrupts me in what I’m doing it is extremely frustrating and debilitating I have been fatigued for so many years and its gotten worse and worse I’m on the verge of a complete breakdown I have been writing on this blog-post for a long time It’s been taking a long time to write this blog-post in the state I’m in I started writing on it before I went on compulsory care at the Psychiatry and have continued writing on it after I was signed out I’m not really even able to write right now in the state I am in because of almost constant itching most of the time It makes it so much harder to function because I’m constantly interrupted and this has almost broken me down completely I had so many torture sessions of Horrid itching and was alone and no one was there to comfort me had to get through it on my own. PTSD and itching has been preventing me from doing things and thinking because of constant Interruption it felt unbearable. A few times my spirit has even left my body for short moments. I had to cook food for myself even though I was not able to I had to force myself to do it because I had no help the last two Home Services I had were really psycho and after that I did not want to try any new home services. I isolated myself almost completely and had a fear of people and going outside and seeing people also fear that I would see the rapist father or mother or other harassers South side fear just to go out on the balcony was very Frightening for me so overwhelmed by all of this trauma have been suicidal now and then when the pain became too unbearable the doctor at the Psychiatry Clinic just signed me out when I was weighing only 37 kilos the last time I was at the psychiatry my wrists were very thin and now as well I wasn’t able to lift things and take care of myself but I forced myself to do it because I was afraid to ask for help because of the negative experiences I’ve had with people and I have been isolating me completely. My apartment looks like a Dungeon so messy because it hasn’t been cleaned for very long I have been swallowing my pain for most of my life. I didn’t get the love that I needed as a child. My so called parents have not been taking care of me because they were my repressed masculine energy and not real so I have not had any parents I have been an orphan All of my life. I did not get to be a child. I had to parent my own parents at a young age and my sister the responsibilities were too heavy on my shoulders I have been extremely traumatized all my life and have been needing urgent trauma treatment For all my life and could not be responsible for others. I have had to be a supersheroine for all my life. I have broken too much porcelain and feel extreme frustration over the terror roller coaster life So exhausting I have been through it all seems that I can carry mountains of pain. I was not meant to be involved with the people down here. The people down here can’t take care of me. They are survivalism. Only Christos can take care of me.
The child can’t be responsible for anything down here because she is a child and she is half down here and can’t function properly. She is lacking parts of herself and can’t be expected anything because she is extremely traumatized, half and handicapped.
The heartless psycho boss at the psychiatric avd came to speak to me in my room when I was staying at the psychiatry. I had told her before how unacceptable the staff had been treating me but she did not take that seriously. She was speaking to me with a very unpleasant psycho voice.
I told her that I was being treated very heartlessly. I was harassed by several nurses at the Psychiatry. She said to me with a peculiar emotionless nonchalant psycho tone of voice that she makes sure that the staff are treating the patients well… Electric eel.
In the corridor she spoke to me with an incredibly spiteful snake list cheerful nonchalant tone so incredibly psycho that the blood in my veins froze. A person who is not an extreme psycho does not speak to an extremely traumatized patient the way she and some of the other psycho staff spoke to me…
Because of my complex PTSD and agoraphobia I was not able to go to the dining room at the psychiatry in the state I am in. I was served food in my room until the 7th of august when a male nurse of the psychostaff said I had to go to the dining room if I would eat any food. I did not get any dinner to eat and no night snack either.
The 8th of august I did not receive any breakfast lunch or afternoon snack. At dinner time an incompetent wuss male doctor came into my room. I said leave me alone. I had told him to leave me alone before because of how he treated me. I was too afraid and traumatized because of my PTSD and AgoraPhobia to go out in the corridor to go to the examination room to take a blood test. He said “please” with a stressed voice, then walked away and said “nähä” and slammed the door. A professional psychiatry doctor does not treat a traumatized patient like that. He later took the blood test in my room instead. He came into my room again at dinner time on the 8th and when I said leave me alone he said “no I have to talk to you.” He said that I had said no thank you to food. I said I had not done that. I yelled “BURN!!!” Then an “objective” psycho male nurse who had spoken to me earlier whom I never wanted to have anything to do with again because of his unacceptable behavior fetched dinner for me and later a night snack. He was a lousy, horrendous creature, good for nothing.
On the 9th of august I did not receive any breakfast lunch or afternoon snack. A male nurse who I think must have been an angel since he was the only empathetic nurse in the Psychiatry avd that I knew of asked me if I wanted dinner. He was the only one I felt that I could talk to and have a somewhat decent conversation with compared to the other incompetent imbeciles in the avd.
The 13th a female psycho nurse asked me if I wanted lunch. I was too traumatized to answer. Got no lunch. The 14th of August the psycho who had said I had to go to the dining room if I wanted to eat any food asked me “don’t you want any dinner?” I told him to leave me alone. The angelic nurse came later and brought me dinner instead. The 15th I got no breakfast and no snack. The 16th I got no breakfast and no dinner. The 17th I got no breakfast and did not want any lunch because of a psycho male nurse. Got no snack. The psycho who had denied me food entered my room and told me that the angelic male nurse who I usually talked to was not there tonight so he had to help me instead. I said “leave me alone psycho.” He would not leave so I locked myself in the bathroom. He said “I will be back.” I said “you will not, psycho.” He left and entered my room again after a while. He had fetched a psycho pervert male nurse to frighten me and exercise power over me. (That psycho perv nurse had touched me unpleasantly on my shoulder before another time when I had stayed at the Psychiatry years ago, a creep who stopped outside of a sperm bank when we were walking in the hospital to show me a picture on his cell phone of when he was swimming. He spoke mostly about himself and said if I had been good I might get signed out with an unpleasant voice.) I locked myself in the bathroom. The psycho nurse said “she can’t do that.” I said “NO ONE has the right to decide anything over me! Leave me alone psychos!!!” The psycho nurse returned on his own again after a while and held the door handle to prevent me from walking out. I removed his hand and said “stop it or I will report you.” I locked myself in the bathroom again. He said “I’m outside of the bathroom. I will wait until you come out or we will have to open the door.” I said “burn dickhead.” He said “I will wait until you come out.” He said “if you’re waiting for the angel to help you he can’t help you because he’s not here.” (The angelic male nurse had helped me before when the psycho nurse was being hostile towards me. He heard me screaming and walked into the room and asked “what’s going on here…? He stood and listened to our conversation to support me and did not leave until the conversation was finished. After that he took over and spoke to me instead of the psycho nurse.) I walked out and sat down in the common room. The psycho came after me and said “we want to help you”. I said “you’re not helping me by harassing me.” He said “I want to talk to you.” I said “why the fuck would I want to talk to you psycho devul…???” He finally left. The next day a doctor signed me out.
I got a support person when I stayed at the psychiatry whom I never met who was going to remain for 4 weeks after I had been signed out but I got a letter yesterday that said that the support person had been dismissed and got no explanation for that. Scandalous incompetence of the psychiatry …
The harassment by the psychiatry is carried over from past lives when I was the victim of smear campaigns and extreme persecution by the patriarchy because of my shamanic religion. The psychiatry and patriarchy are the same non-energy.
Sophia Mary Magdalene – The one and only Pope
In 2020 I had a lot of spiritual awakenings and received many spiritual downloads of information from my higher self during torture sessions of pain and still do. I was guided by my higher self to share these messages that I’m going to share now to get the truth out because if I am not in my truth officially then the outside world is not in truth either. Everything that is not aligned with Divine truth has to fall away.
I have been meditating for many years up until the beginning of 2020, when my complex PTSD and horrid itch made it impossible to continue meditating. Through meditation many past lives were being revealed to me. In 2020 I found out through meditation that I had lived as Mary Magdalene in a past life. When I found out so many pieces fell into place. I understood where a lot of my deep seated rage over the church and the patriarchy that I carried within me came from.
I’m blacklisting the patriarchy and the papacy. My Original rage over the patriarchy came from the smear campaign by Simon Peter and the Roman Catholic Church in my past life as Mary Magdalene. I had written a book called The great revelation. The misogynist Simon Peter and the Roman Catholic Church wrote a reverse version of The great revelation called the Apocalypsis which is in the New Testament. Portraying the Virgin mother as controlled and chaste and portraying Mary Magdalene as the great Whore, as a smear campaign by the patriarchy to bring Mary Magdalene down.
To be controlled and chaste is a patriarchal ego energy. Senza una dona. The veiled woman is made invisible. The Virgin Mother is a molded ego doll. She was sold short because she was robbed of her individuality. She is silenced. Prohibited to sing and practice her spirituality.
The ego of the patriarchy believes that their way of being is the only right way of being and if you behave in any other way you’re a cheap hoe and get voted off and thrown out. The psychiatry has the same belief that you have to be like them – masculine, ego and “adult” in order to be accepted and receive respect and better treatment from them. In the political system you have to be masculine and “adult” and speak a scientific language of the ego in order to be accepted. The patriarchal ego energy is “adult” so also the females who play “adult” have a patriarchal ego energy. The feminine energy is wild and creative in nature. I am blacklisting the political system. I don’t believe in politics as a system. Politics does not exist in my world. Because I will not make my reality what I don’t believe in. Politics would never have been present here as an illusion if the ego did not exist so politics is an illusion and does not exist in my world. The ego does not have the driver’s license.
Simon Peter claimed to be the first Pope but that is a big lie because there has only been one Pope and there will only be one Pope in all dimensions and that is Sophia Mary Magdalene, Queen of the Heavens.
As above, so below. I created this world. It all belongs to me. No one is above me and has any right to rule over me in any way. Egomaniacs dared to question my authority and position on things. They did not have the right to do that because I’m the boss here. I can do nothing wrong. I am extremely enlightened and powerful beyond measure.
My higher self told me that it’s time to take back my power and to take charge. I’m the only one who makes the rules and laws. I deserve ONLY good in my life and need to have redemption and compensation if anyone should go against these cosmic laws.
I’m blacklisting the monarchy. The patriarchy stealing my power was carried over to the monarchy stealing my power because the monarchy is governed by the church. They are the same energy. They are part of the false branch in the Mary Magdalene bloodline. Because they nestled into it. They are ego and not real.
There can only be one Queen in all dimensions and that is Sophia Mary Magdalene in the Queendom. There is no such thing as a Kingdom. Big Time Fiasco. The little kingdom is a lie and has to fall. It lies on poisoned church grounds. It is not real, just a nightmare. A kingdom can never exist. It’s too weak. It’s lacking power and spirit.
Everything that is not aligned with Divine truth has to fall away and the ego is not aligned with Divine truth so everything that is connected to the ego will fall away sooner or later.
Simon Peter tried to steal my identity and my power, my sexuality and my spiritual wisdom and distort and falsify it. The pope is a misogynist rapist, incompetent Psychopathic fraud. A poor imitator, child murderer, lower vampiric entity, egomaniac, perverted criminal and a cheap hoe. He was just a big sham like all the other popes after Mary Magdalene. Cheapo bargain boys.
The patriarchy and the false Pope tried to deny me of my power and my spirituality and took credit for something I did. This was a huge violation and rape on the divine feminine.
I have been mute for many lifetimes. How could I speak at all when my tongue was cut off? I tried to open my mouth but no words came out and when they did the judgments came hailing from the preacher. I do not speak the scientific language of the ego. It was created because of a locking of the heart. It is robotic and lacking emotion. It is lacking energy and is therefore pretty much useless.
I was blocked in expressing myself here because the feminine energies are not supported here now. The feminine is being undermined, ruled and silenced.
How could I be expected to do ANYTHING as an oppressed female in the world? I am not supported here and not allowed to be myself here. My pink lotus flower candles were thrown in a corner and replaced with a huge phallus statue.
The ego trolls are of the same vibration. They are rapists. They tried to force their views and opinions on me. They tried to force things on me and were being extremely hostile, rude and disrespectful when they should have been bloody grateful that they exist as an illusion those spoiled brats. They are monsters in my nightmare and have to dissolve. It’s an illusion that they would exist because without a heart you can’t exist. They have altered and modified the original wilderness and beauty of this planet. Violating my boundaries and raping Mother Earth. They have done enough damage on this planet. There’s not much more left of me now than a skeleton. They got nothing to do in my garden. They have been pestering Mother Earth for too long with their hostile rapist warrior Energies. They were not meant to exist. Me and Christos are unanimous about the removal of these parasites. Rapists Exploiters Eaters Scavengers will burn says Queen EVE original Earth spinner. The ego does not have the driver’s license. Good Vibes only on Venus.
bombers hijack I will throw the trolls in my dungeon And let my wild animals go loose on them burn Hillbillies Unnecessary imbeciles sheep herds fikasugna trolls in the middle of a movie Good riddance non negotiable Terrorists I deserve to be completely free and Undisputed and undisturbed forever.
The virgin mother portrayed as controlled and chaste is non existing. She is a contrasting opposite to the truth of the wild child. The so-called mother is an illusion. I flew down here as a lightweight fairy Lightbeing in etheric form and grounded myself in the lower chakras with African Eve. I felt guilty as Eve in the Garden of Eden because I did not want to get pregnant and give birth to sons of the ego. It was an illusion that I would have become a mother because I am a child and the child can’t be responsible. I felt on a subconscious level like I was cheating on Christos, my homeboy but I was under the veil of forgetfulness and had forgotten that others were aspects of myself that I had repressed within me. I felt guilt over my primitive nature when we got stuck in the animalistic phase in Lemuria. I was feeling disconnected and detached and having difficulty integrating love and sexuality because of the disconnection between the masculine and feminine energies because of the locking of my heart after what happened in Lemuria.
Christos was having difficulty reaching me because I locked my heart when the sun became brighter in Lemuria. The sun becoming so bright created a huge imbalance. I could not have reacted in any other way than locking my heart when that happened. This was when the ego mind came in because of fears that created survivalism. We did not have any ego before that. Demons came in. We got stuck in the animalistic phase.
The sun became brighter because I had repressed it within me. Because I’m dreaming and everything that appears in the subconscious dreamworld comes up in order to be healed.
Why am I so sensitive to my own masculine energies down here is because the masculine energies down here become much more primitive down here than in higher dimensions so what happened was that I got a distorted view on masculine energy but it’s not the true masculine energy of Christos.
I viewed Christos a bit like Darth Vader.
I had difficulty accepting my masculine energy because I was under the veil of forgetfulness and did not remember the true energy of Christos fully.
I did not engage in sex for payment in the past life as Mary Magdalene but I did fuck around. But that was really only my business. Sex is sacred and spiritual. It’s about merging with different aspects of myself. I was in my higher feminine spiritual chakras and wanted to ground myself in the lower masculine chakras. My masculine sexuality was repressed because of guilt carried over from Eve and Imhotep. I wanted to have Freedom in expressing various areas of my sexuality. Exploring my animalistic sexuality and primitive nature. It’s part of where my power lies. In the symbolic dream language prostitution is symbolic of receiving energy from others through sex because money is energy.
Bang bang you so hard pow pow fuck you ferociously. what’s happening. what’s up. Fuck fuck fuck. Blow you to bits bursting and bombing Dynamite death going on Slam dunk Hasty you find my cake tasty. You like my juice you’re always so thirsty when you come over. It just gets so wet. Greedy eater drinker. Hyperactive fucker boom boom feel this. what wet hard loud moaning groaning. Ohhhh Ahhhh MMMM umm mmy…. Grab you from behind. Bouncing up and down. It’s time to get down. Feel that, ouch ouch did I hurt you. It’s getting Wild and violent. Fuck him there. Fuck that there. Take him, why not. sexual the feeling what’s going on lava lover. I want to ride. Hot nights no sleep only fucka.
If I would have wanted to become a prostitute for whatever reason I would have been unconditionally loved by Source either way because I was an innocent child.
There was originally a matriarchy and a Goddess culture on earth in the first civilization of Lemuria. The female was viewed as very sacred and holy and the feminine sexuality was also revered as very sacred and holy. It is very discriminating, sexist and unfair that man who fucks around has a high status in society while a female doesn’t. Tearing down the Goddess culture was a huge rape on the divine feminine.
I was forced into prostitution by a Jehovah’s witness priest in my incarnation in the 1800s, as Mexican and French Janice, a Mayan indian who was kidnapped and had to adapt to the civilized society. I was a lesbian in that life and was not interested in merging with men. But even if I had not been a lesbian the prostitution would have been equally traumatic of course. Prostitution is also symbolic of the oppressed feminine having to sell herself short in order to adapt to the man’s world with patriarchal structures.
Eve was not a helper from man’s rib like the false Pope believes. What sort of inhumane view on people is that…? I am valuable as my own person. I am primarily a person and not a gender. The female is not the maid to clean up man’s shit. That is a soiling of the Goddess. The cat is independent and does not accept being told what to do. Eve did not come from Adam’s rib since she gave birth to him. She was the MOTHER of all mothers….The masculine energies are giving like the sun and the feminine energies are receptive. Dogs like to fetch things for the cat. Dogs are very active and love to be of service and to please. Dogs always follow cats around and are the protector and provider for the cat. The dog is horny and likes to lick 😛 the pussycat.
The Roman Catholic Church views the female like some sort of breeding machine without a right to her own body. Without a right to have an abortion if she wishes. “Give me a son in the name of Yeshua, he shall be the heir of my Empire.” Why don’t you create a clone of yourself instead, outrageous egomaniac….????
I am dreaming a nightmare that the masculine energies are taking over in the world because I repressed them within me because of a fear of my masculine energies. That is why the so-called Jesus was seen and heard but not Mary Magdalene.
Jesus, the so called Jesus Christ, was not real. He was part of my repressed masculine energy and fears of the masculine. He is the ego and not real. He had self-hatred and an inferior complex because of his shortcomings. He was on a cross because of guilt feelings and self-punishment over his primitive nature and sexuality. He was a conformed, judgemental carpenter and not real. I will allow myself to be the best. Sophia means wisdom.The wise Sage Sophia says that the three so-called wise men were not very wise because they believed in a boy called Jesus Christ who did not exist.
So it was a big lie that it was Jesus suffering on the cross because it was the suffering of Mary Magdalene. It was the suffering from being raped by the demons of the ego of the patriarchy. It is extremely dishonoring to be standing in the shadow of Jesus when it was my suffering and not the suffering of Jesus on the cross. The holy white dove is the spirit of the Goddess Sophia. It did not belong to Jesus since there was no Jesus Christ. There was only Mary Magdalene Sophia Christ.
Jesus is not anything like Christos either. God Christos was never on this Earth and Goddess Sophia is dreaming in higher dimensions so the masculine energies on this planet are the repressed energies of Sophia and not real. Jesus does not look similar to Christos either. If I were to describe the appearance of Christos he looks a bit like a Gorilla… The Goddess Sophia is more evolved than God Christos.
So it is a lie that Jesus was God’s only son because God does not have a son. Christos only has a daughter and that is Sophia who gave birth to this planet. Allah and Buddha are not real either of course.
There is only Sophia and Christos and they are one in higher dimensions. The Divine feminine and Divine masculine Source energy.
The so called “Saint Peter” Simon Peter was not a saint, in fact he was the Antichrist. He and the unholy Roman Catholic Church and the branch of the Plantard’s are false branches in the Mary Magdalene Christ bloodline because they nestled into it. The monarchy and several of America’s presidents also belong to this false branch. They are ego and not real. They are part of the so-called Satanic bloodline of the Illuminati. However Satan is not real. The patriarchy created Satanism and the devil as a part of the smear campaign on the divine feminine. They took the original Pagan symbols and distorted them into something evil. Lucifer comes from Venus, the Morning Star. The planet Venus vibrates in the energy of love and beauty and does not know of anything other than love. The devil is a distortion of Pan, the pagan fertility God. 666 is the number of Venus, the triple Goddess in Pagan religion but the patriarchy turned it into the number of the Beast. They turned the pentagram which is a symbol for planet Venus into the symbol for Satan. They turned Poseidon’s sea-fork into the fire-fork of the devil. Hell comes from the Goddess Hel who healed spirits underground before they incarnated into a new body. There was nothing evil about that. Friday the 13th comes from the goddess Freya who was a positive fertility Goddess. The number 13 is the number of the Goddess in Pagan religion and does not bring bad luck. When people believe that it will bring them bad luck it will often bring them bad luck because we create our reality with our beliefs. It is the law of attraction. Freya was drawn in a carriage by cats so the cat, particularly black cats, were also being distorted into something evil and a bringer of bad luck. The patriarchy took these symbols and distorted them into something evil. They have the christian black and white thinking – good or bad, God or the Devil, Heaven or Hell, Divinity or dirt thinking. Evil is just an illusion and not real. Only love is real. The patriarchy started war with the mission to extinct the Pagan religions. The Bible is an ego based book of political propaganda written for the purpose of controlling people. The patriarchy was originally worshiping a warrior God and many of them are also worshiping Satan as well. There are some truths in the Bible since a lot of what is written in the Bible was taken from the Pagan religion but it’s mixed with a lot of lies and distortions. It’s the end of biblical times.
The Madonna-Whore complex of the Patriarchy
Christianity and Islam and most other religions were created by the ego of the masculine because of their self-hatred and jealousy of the feminine spirituality that they did not have access to because of a disconnect between the masculine and feminine energies. The patriarchy are not really against the feminine, they are against themselves because of self hatred and projecting that onto the feminine. The patriarchy is the opposite of spirituality because they are mainly in their lower chakras that have to do with power, money, materialism and survivalism of the ego. The patriarchy is very weak. Since they were lacking power they had to steal power. They have stolen their so-called power and taken their positions by force. The only cheap hoes in this world are the patriarchy. They are pornographic cheap hoes and jealous bitches. This is what they are projecting on the female. The women in the world who have these traits have the ego energy of the patriarchy in female bodies.
The patriarchy would not need to repress their sexuality so heavily if they did not have a problem with their own sexuality. They view sex as something dirty because of their own dirty minds, therefore they have a Madonna-Whore complex. They are projecting onto the woman. The patriarchy are in the porn industry as both male and female pornstars who have chosen to be pornstars. Old pervs exposed. They are using power and control and are violating and degrading the feminine. Keep your dirt to yourselves, pervs. When it comes to women who are forced into prostitution and porn, and trafficking victims and children who are forced into the porn industry, they are the oppressed feminine. The porn industry is very corrupt and has to fall away along with the patriarchy and everything else that is not aligned with divine truth.
There is nothing dirty or sinful with sex as sex is sacred and spiritual. However if you are only in your lower chakras separated from your higher spiritual chakras sex becomes separated from love and love and sex is naturally connected. Sex is not mean to be controlled or chaste either. That is a sign of stagnation and religious brainwash. Eve original in paradise was very instinctual, natural, primitive, creative and not controlled or chaste in any way. True spirituality is wild, natural, instinctual and creative.That’s the energy of the spirit. The energy of the sacral chakra is sexual and creative. Sexuality and creativity are connected.
Sexuality is spirituality and spirituality is sexuality.
When I was 3 years old my father raped me. When I was 7 years old I was group raped in the forest. I have been raped in most of my lives. The rapes in my current life were very similar to the rapes in the past life as Irish Anne McKenzie in the medieval age in Wales, Ireland. Anne McKenzie was my repressed masculine aspect and not real. She was raped by her priest father Donald McKenzie. That life was intertwined with the life as Mary Magdalene who was raped energetically by the patriarchy and papacy. In the past life as Anne McKenzie I was also group raped in the forest by boys, by order from my father and tortured in a torture chamber with nails through my hands and other torture methods before I was executed for witchcraft which was also by order from my father. I was killed by a knight who pierced my heart with a sword. In my current life my biological Jesus loving father raped me when I was 3 years old. When I was 7 years old I was group raped in the forest in Sollefteå, northern Sweden. There were boys around my age or older who raped me and also forced me to suck dick. The husband of the Nanny was masturbating and filming with a video camera while they raped me. The rapists laughed when they raped me. They cut me with a knife and threatened to shoot me if I told anyone. They told me that it was my fault that I got raped because I was dirty and a whore. How could I be a whore…? I was just an innocent child and was not sexually active… I got thoughts like maybe I got punished for having been running around playing in my panties in the garden outside of the family’s house in the summertime, because the conservative female neighbor had told me that I was a nasty girl for doing that. I got the belief that I had to be a “good girl” so that I would stay safe and not get hurt or get punished by people. To stay as low-key as possible. Anne McKenzie was hiding my true Mexican wild child because of a fear of punishment. My true energy is Mexican, extreme habanero pepper, passionate, instinctual, bold, horny with a hot fiery temper, not low key or controlled in any way. The Mexican energy is my true identity so the Mexican energy has been present in all of my incarnations. But in some of my incarnations the Mexican in me has been asleep more or less because of a locking of the heart. The Mexican energy is my true energy because it is the energy of home and home is where the heart is. After the rapes I got a strong underlying belief that I was not deserving of love but mostly deserving of punishment and harsh treatment because of what happened to me. After being raped as a child I felt reduced into an object and humiliated and degraded. I did not feel valued as a person. Even though I know in my heart that I was an innocent child and did not deserve to be treated that way, the subconscious beliefs were echoing within me very loudly. I was only a child and did not know of anything else than what I had been taught. I had nothing else to compare to.
I have been waiting for urgent trauma help ever since the rapes happened. I wanted the ambulance and police to come. I locked my heart and got very silent as a child after the rapes, because of fear and trauma. I did not receive the help that I was in urgent need of. Rapes are a huge traumatic burden to carry. Being raped is among the worst things one can go through. When feeling the rape vibrations the pain was so unbearable that all I could think about was that I wanted to die. The rapes made me suffer through such horrid torture sessions of extreme pain and indescribable terror that felt like every cell in my body was being raped and killed. It also felt like black demons were attacking my auric field. Razor sharp pain blazing through me. The rapes caused me horrendous suffering. It led to complex PTSD, agoraphobia, gluten intolerance, panic attacks, eating disorders, severe PMS hormonal imbalance which almost broke me down completely, illness, deep depression, almost complete isolation in the end because of a loss of trust in humanity and seven suicide attempts that did not work.
My so called father – the rapist
Pools of blood on the floor in the bathroom where the rape took place. Echoing red trauma blackened rotten to the core sickening demonic pedophile. Empty hollow soulless charred demon incestuous rapist psycho perpetrator laser murderer. Commit such horrid acts. You’re Breathing iciness. He would have preferred a son but the daughters could be used and exploited in some way. They might come in handy.
Disgusting pedophile. Scratchy hoarse repellent voice you deserve nothing but daggers thrown at you. Grotto down yourself in ugliness. You should be locked up behind bars. Ice cold wind gust poop eater. Psycho rapist born in the depths of the demons dwelling. Talkative calculating fake snake heartless psycho get rid of you pornographic demon with ingrained dirt on mind perverted dirty digger. Disgusting grotty voice and groping hands.Thoroughly rotten genomfula shitwaterfall. How the fuxk do you live with yourself Lillkillen junior lion-cub, the king of para gold-digging Eagle. Sleazy pimp with groping hands. He wants to order a mail-order wife to use for fuck and as a maid. Tie the bitch to the stove. Sloppy neglectful black sheep so called fathers mixed grill. Poop roaring hockey enthusiast bawling monstrous poop package. The child was raped in a red room. My trauma is repeated every second of the day. How the fuck do you think that feels? You’re not my father. Let her carry this burden. How upset you get by trifles, child… Men also have hormonal imbalance. Give a fuck about what happens to the little life of that infant scrap doll. Throw her in a corner and don’t think about that incident again. I will use my daughter as a sex doll before she grows up and pour liquor in her throat so she wont remember anything from what happened in case she should get cranky and whiny, obnoxious screaming whining shit kid. Should get a whipping as well. She got no right to be upset. She should do what I say. I’m the boss in this household. I do whatever the fuck I want with my daughter. It is my rights that are right. My daughter does not have any rights. She is a breeding sex doll and nothing more. She can be CUTE sometimes but that is her only task. I’m a nice bloke, always so self sacrificing. I do everything for everyone. Drive people around everywhere. Not my daughters though, I don’t have time for them because I am too busy playing street angel. What does not benefit me I have no use of. Profitable motives always. Serve me breakfast in bed children, you owe me. You owe me a fuck, kid since you’ve been so cranky screaming lately. Fuck whatever is closest at hand. Take off my belt and prepare for the rape. A child rape took place, does that turn you on psychopathic pedophile? No one was there to help me in my traumatized state. Give a fuck if she gets traumatized for life. My perverted sexual need for power comes first. That’s enough. Hush. Your tears I don’t give a shit about. Your screams fall upon deaf ears. Who gave you the right to buy an ice cream, child? He asked me scornfully. Rape the daughter, why not? No one will know. I’ll sedate her and if she remembers I will get rid of her in some discreet way. She is just a fuck object in my eyes. I’m a nice bloke. Murky auric field with black demons flying around. Draconian offspring with a round content belly. Pale white sickening pedophile pornographic perpetrator with insane shiny eyes of a lunatic. Eliminate all opposition. Beat up small kids relentless murder robot. The primitive reptilian murder machine will stop at nothing if his ego feels threatened. Joke like nothing’s happened. You make me sick.
I’m breathing and my heart is beating but that hurts.
Because of rapes I live with constant fear and constant threat, not being able to relax and stay present in my body. I feel creeping under my skin, the constant reverberations of rape. Because of rapes I am constantly running from myself, because it feels too painful to stay in my body, in my cells. Living in constant terror in my body underneath my skin and struggling, fighting for survival each day. Gasping for air in an ice cold instillment. It gets hard to breathe. It gets hard to live.
You’re totally devoid of emotions, soulless rapist demon. You took everything away from me, violent child rapist bloodthirsty child murderer. Burn, insane horrid sickening beast.
I have been a psychiatric patient in three lives that I know of. I was in a mental hospital in a past life in Iceland in the 1920s because of trauma. This was an extremely traumatic life like most of my lives.
I was sexually abused by my christian stepfather and I had been beaten before that in the orphanage. I had been cold and harshly treated and severely abused. I had been violated by a gymnastic teacher in school. I had lost my trust in authority figures. I had a lot of traumatic experiences in life.
My name was Maria in this life because the energy was carried over from the past life as Mary Magdalene.
I just wanted to find some shelter. Iceland Maria was a repressed masculine aspect of me and not real. I was living a parallel life as an indian Street child named Durva in Mumbai, India. She was my feminine energy. Most of my past lives are parallel because of split energies. Durva died in her twenties. She was raped by a doctor who choked her to death.
A mental caregiver in the mental hospital in Iceland raped me.
I was falsely diagnosed with schizophrenia. I was a shaman and had a strong connection to the spirit world and had a difficulty sometimes shutting off the voices from the spirit world that were coming in.
I would merge with the energy of a wild cat and other animals and take on the energy of the animal. Most people judged me as crazy. I saw that I was some sort of cat owl and had a thousand cat eyes inside my body.
I was also diagnosed with dyslexia but I did not have dyslexia. I was left handed and was forced to write with my right hand.
I was bisexual and had a lesbo love romantic relationship with a female patient in the mental hospital. We locked ourselves in the bathroom at the mental hospital and made out.
We had letter correspondence when we got out of the mental hospital but we quarreled and broke up.
I decided to commit suicide and jumped from a mountain. It was self-punishment for anger.
The psychiatry was carried over from the past life as Mary Magdalene because the patriarchy and the psychiatry are the same energy.
I was a shaman in the life as Mary Magdalene as well and would merge with the energy of animals.
The patriarchy was having difficulty handling a wild child like Mary Magdalene who had such outlandish ideas because they were in need of feeling control.
Psychiatric diagnoses are also smear campaigns. Because the psychiatry identifies themselves with the ego, they mostly see ego and sickness in other people.
All psychiatric diagnoses have spiritual explanations but the psychiatry don’t see things from a higher perspective because they are very limited in their understanding since they are primarily ruled by their lower chakras. They psychiatry got an incredibly small mindset. They’re very square in their thinking.
Psychology books like the Bible are of the ego and not real. The Psychiatry judges people as being crazy like Christianity judges people as being sinful.
The Psychiatry and Christianity are on the same page in the manual book, staring at yellow boxes with a very one-sided judgmental view of the snake eye from the ground. They’re up in their heads, constipated, packed with shit.
Since a majority of psychiatrists and psychiatric staff identify with the ego they get energy from patients by projecting their own sickness onto the patient.
They see things they don’t like about themselves in the patient. It is the ego that is sick and projecting that onto the Goddess.
The Psychiatry got energy from me because they were as broken as me and dependent upon me. I felt helpless and powerless because I was locked out from my power chakra.
The ego believes that it’s normal to live life on this Earth. It is extremely sick and unhealthy to be living the so-called normal life of the ego-based sick Society that we are living on this Earth. The “normal” life is the awakened life of Magic creativity and Flow. The ego believes that its normal and healthy to be functioning in an extremely sick Society. It’s not normal to be able to function in an extremely sick Society, that’s a sign of Extreme illness and sickness….
In a past life in Sweden in the 70s I was named Jenny and was also a psychiatric patient because of trauma. I had been sexually abused by my christian stepfather and had also been exposed to racism and homophobia from people. I was beaten because I was a finnish norwegian Sami and a lesbian. I worked as a bartender and had some alcohol problems so I was also in a dependency Psych. I received Electroconvulsive therapy at the psychiatry against my will. There was never anything wrong with my head, it was my heart that was hurting because of trauma. Jenny was my masculine repressed aspect and not real. I lived a parallel life with Jenny as a blonde mermaid named Eve. She was French and my feminine aspect. She lived in Mazatlan, Mexico.
ECT and the straitjacket is about patriarchal brainwash and mind-fuck.
I have not had ECT in my current incarnation. I do not want to have anything more to do with the psychiatry and psychiatric staff because of their treatment of patients. They are still to this day using ECT on patients and using it by force. ECT is damaging for the brain. I had no idea that ECT was still being used today when I first got in contact with the psychiatry in my current incarnation. If I had known about these past lives earlier I probably would not have wanted to have anything to do with the psychiatry. My higher self told me that I needed to heal some wounds connected to the psychiatry in this life so I understand why that happened because it was energy carried over from past lives. So it would have happened either way.
I found it very healing to abreact on the psycho staff at the psychiatry during my recent stay at the psychiatry. My redemption had been planned before this lifetime. I felt that I got revenge on most of them which was necessary for my healing. They let me scream and lash out on them and did not defend themselves when I screamed at them. They even waited sometimes for me to abreact on them until they closed the door to my room. They waited until I had screamed “die!!!” and seemed more neutral and a bit sympathetic after I had abreacted on them. It was no coincidence that the people that I needed to abreact on appeared usually at the time when I needed to abreact on them. What was unhealed happened in the right order for me to heal it. The harasser appeared because of repressed rage. He really loves me so much. His heart was pumping because he was near me. He wants me to use him as a dumpster and will not say a word when I scream profanity at him. Because he is a sort of angel in disguise here for me to abreact myself on him so that I can heal wounds and ascend. But they don’t deserve to be a part of my reality after how they treated me. To accept oppression is not love. This is a nightmare and not my reality. It’s not the truth to be accepting pain, disrespect and humiliation because only love is real. I have been using my anger as a transformational force. It’s about getting rid of the ego trolls. They are the ego and not real. I feel like I have finished them now and this has led to a profound spiritual awakening that only love is real. They appeared for me in order for me to finish them and seal this story.
I will write more about what happened at the psychiatry in a later blog-post because a lot of what happened there I have not had the energy to bring up in this blog-post.
The Psychiatry are not my reality and not my truth. I was having a nightmare.
Places are just energy and vibration. Separation and distance is an illusion.
Because my truth is not staying at shabby Hotel Rex soup kitchen in Russia with lack.
It’s not my truth that I should have shady hobos as roommates in some spare room in the cellar, living in lack and limitation in a horrendous bloodthirsty nightmare in.a shabby suburb in Småland, the small land.
Papa Christos niña mala deserves to have a private elevator and limo rides everywhere because she deserves the best in everything. I’m worth more than all the diamonds in the universe so I must have the best in everything to be in my truth. It is Holy law.
But there is love and light in everything including Sweden as well as all countries In the world. Beauty can be found everywhere. The Swedish forests are amazing and the Stockholm suburb is probably what I love most about Sweden. The snow is also amazing. It looks like millions of glimmering, shimmering diamonds all over the Ground. So magical.
Abundance is the natural state of the heart. Source is unlimited and not lacking anything. To starve and freeze is not love but fear-based beliefs which manifests poverty in the outer world. Blessings and gifts from Source are of a very high vibration. I am deserving of the best and everything just because I exist as source which is love and love attracts Bountiful energy with it in the form of all sorts of abundance. I’m living as large as the universe. The energy has to come to the rightful owner because it belongs to me. Got an entire universe of treasures and light radiating within me crystallizing in the outside world. The World is my playground.
Why I ended up in Sweden in the 70’s with the scarcity mentality was because of false belief systems after being ripped of my power and glory in my past life as Anne Boleyn, Queen of England. It was a parallel life with Anne Mckenzie. Anne Boleyn was my feminine aspect. Anne Bull.
I got the belief that I was not worthy of luxury, comfort and abundance. I must say that the movie “The Other Boleyn Girl” with Natalie Portman was not at all similar to what happened in my past life as Anne Boleyn. That movie is mostly fiction.
After locking my heart from Christos I was in a frozen sphere and got fictional parents in the black and cold void in Sweden. The land of Sweden is smallness and narrow contraction. It is fear-based survivalism of a locked heart. Asleep, in hibernation in the depths of the subconscious mind. Walking around in circles because life was laid on ice.
A majority of swedes however think that the Swedish Society is functioning a lot better than the rest of the world’s societies… Sweden might be a relatively safe and secure country to live in. The ego wants to play it safe and have security. It wants to have everything lined up in a perfect order.
The downside to a very orderly conformed Society is a dull, confined and constricted Society. The cosmos is open, vast and expansive and is not aligned with the stagnant Swedish way of living. In moderate Sweden you might get to Ica Supermarket to buy a mellanmjölk – semi-skimmed milk, but you won’t get much further than that…
The swedes are basing most things on scientific research. They think they should be able to understand most things by using logical thinking which is very limited. There are so many pieces of the puzzle missing when using logic only. There must be a much wider perspective to be able to comprehend Truth at a deeper level. The ego is in the mind and to try and sort things out with the ego mind becomes very limited and with it comes a lot of false beliefs. We are only using about 10% of the logical mind. The heart is directing the mind, sending signals to the brain, telling the brain what to think. The Heart is Everything. Sweden has an incredibly small mindset. The universe is not in moderation, the universe is overflowing with abundance. It is the true state of the heart. Bad things and accidents are not meant to happen. It is fears that are creating them. My spirit guides me to take risks when needed. It is necessary to take huge risks sometimes for growth and expansion to happen. I am a free spirit and it is not my Divine truth to be chained by a conformed, confined Society.
Time, Trauma and Ego
The child is a creator, a magician, an astronaut. Seeing limitless possibilities and magic in everything.
The magical creative reality is the true brightly colored awakened reality. Bursting with spring and fruitful bountiful overflowing abundance. Because it is the truth of the heart.
Since everything happens in the now we are already enlightened and at home and it is always so. The past and future are just vibrations. In the now I don’t have any thoughts and do not experience any time because in higher dimensions we are always in the now and are not experiencing anything.
The past is vibrations but everything is always in the now so the past is an illusion. We weave together vibrations that we perceive as the past. So timelines do exist but we can choose if we want to view things from a timeline perspective or from a timeless perspective. Since everything is in the now memories are not real, they are just an energy I am seeing or imagining in the now according to the vibration I am feeling in the present moment. Since the rapes were not real but repressed masculine primitive ego, repressed rage and repressed primitive sexuality, I was having an inner conflict between two extremes. It felt like a rape when these lower repressed energies came at me. But the feminine higher chakras are virgin, no sexuality in higher dimensions so mother Mary felt guilt over the lower and primitive sexuality. It’s the false beliefs of the rapes that are hurting and not the rape memories since the past is vibrations and everything is in the now. It’s those false beliefs that have been blocking me from Christos. Being raped by the ego was extremely horrendous. It felt like being raped by demons and killed to the core. It made everything turn pitch black and all I could think about was wanting to extinct the universe. The vagina and the womb is the seat of the feminine spirituality of the Goddess. This is what I wanted to protect. The sexual and creative sacral chakra is the self. It is a feminine energy and my own divine self was extremely tortured. I have been energetically raped by the ego in so many ways. The ego is rape and the ego was taking over my land. Originally my Native American grounds. Janice is the center, the lioness spread all over the universe. She is not ruled or controlled in any way. That was a big lie in this nightmare.
Since everything is happening in the now, only love is real and everything else is an illusion. Obstacles and illness are illusions. Anything is possible. I can do anything. I can be anything. Everything is energy and energy is transformable.
The past can be viewed as an energy of things that I want to leave behind. Energy of thinking and habits that do not serve me.
The past can be changed by changing my perceptions of the past. Nothing is ever completely negative or positive. Only love is real.
The past is changeable because it’s energy in the now and energy is transformable. I change the past by changing my perspectives and beliefs about the perceived events of the past. This is what enlightenment is about.
A belief that the pain is gathered creates more pain because the pain is not gathered but an illusion of vibration.
The ego is thoughts and beliefs and it is those that are causing suffering. It is the lies of the ego that are hurting. The ego just reacts from the beliefs it’s been taught.
Why it feels like a past exists is because of pain that is mixed with happiness. If I only felt happiness I would just have a feeling of being in the now.
The past is an illusion because when I am suffering I am disconnected from the present now. I’m sleeping and dreaming and not awake in reality because only love is real. I am in the vibrations of the past which is not real. I think that it’s happening in the now because of beliefs in time but since it’s not real it’s not happening now. I am feeling a vibration but it’s not real.
Trauma is one big trauma with ripples in the now or echoes of the trauma.
Trauma is serious because only love is real and to take my trauma seriously is to have self love. To be in the truth of my trauma and to put my feelings and well-being first.
The ego wants to distract from dealing with emotions because if I deal with emotions it’s going to heal me and the ego can’t exist when I’m healed. That’s why most of the psychiatric staff was so shallow, humming and did usually not even ask me how I was feeling but was chit chatting about the weather instead and other trivial matters to avoid listening to me expressing my pain. Because they are the ego. They want to listen to lighthearted, upbeat songs only, nothing too melodramatic. Some psycho psychiatric staff was completely indifferent and one had a silly grin on their face when I told them about the rapes. That is totally outrageous, psycho and heartless.
To get in touch with my heart and emotions I am in the truth of my trauma and by doing so I am opening my heart. I’m connecting to my crystals and my pearls at the bottom of the ocean.
The heart is the energy of Truth so no matter what I am feeling in my heart I’m always love and true because I am love and I cannot be what I am not. There is love in everything everywhere. There is no right or wrong. Ego is not real.
Even though the pain is not gathered, the trauma can be very big and painful so the vibration and the echoes are very strong and it feels like there is much gathered pain.
The trauma wants to be taken seriously and that is why it is coming up so strong.
The ego has false beliefs that certain things are not love. Real love is accepting all emotions and seeing love in everything everywhere because source is only love. The only energy that exists if the energy of love. Everything else is fears and illusions and those are a non-energy.
Because of trauma the child can get severely disconnected from her creativity and become adult and stop playing because she doesn’t feel like playing when she is extremely traumatized and living in survival mode in Russia with lack.
Everything experienced down here is trauma because of the illusionary separation between Sophia and Christos. Because in higher dimensions we are always one and can’t separate.
A belief in time makes a second short because of a belief that a second will be short. Time is an illusion because sometimes I feel like the perceived time is going fast and sometimes it feels like it’s going slower. Albert Einstein had a well known special theory of relativity. He believed that time is relative because the faster a clock moves, the slower time passes according to someone in a different frame of reference. But this theory is false because there is only me here. Duality is an illusion so there is no one else to compare perceptions of time with. The Heart is the Director of the mind. Einstein and other scientists are out cycling… They are disconnected from the heart and in their lower chakras and very limited in their understanding. They are the ego and not real. They are not seeing the bigger picture. They are not viewing things from the natural, crucial spiritual higher viewpoint. They are not looking at things from a bigger holistic perspective. To be counting and doing Mathematical calculations is not the truth because time is an illusion. Numbers are in the mind and not real. There are Many Different Forms of intelligence, like emotional intelligence and spiritual intelligence but the ego of the patriarchy only wants to acknowledge the masculine forms of intelligence of the mind. That is very oppressive and disrespectful against the superior wisdom and knowledge of the Goddess.
Beliefs in past lives are energy and vibrations. Time is not real because in higher dimensions we are already evolved. Medieval energy is just an energy of narrow-minded constricted linear thinking and not a time in history because I can feel that energy now since everything is in the now and time is an illusion.
I was evolved when I incarnated here. It was the ego energy in Lemuria that created the fall into lower vibrations.
The ego is not real. It is false beliefs because of the illusion of separation between Sophia and Christos.
Abracadabra in the mind, I can shift my thoughts to shift reality.
The ego is not negative in itself. It gets exaggerated because of repression.
The ego comes up because it wants to be accepted.
The pain is a sort of gap or interruption in my light field.
The belief in time causes suffering. Fears create and manifest fears in the outside world in the form of negative experiences.
Medication is not aligned with Divine truth because the ego is a non-energy and it is the ego that is sick and needs the medication because of a belief in survivalism.
A belief in sickness creates sickness.
Viewing the ego as negative creates negativity in the outer world. Repressed wildfire spreading, throat burn.
The ego is outside of my body and not real because I am not the ego. I am a magician and an alchemist and create my reality with my beliefs and creativity.
Darkness and light are equally valuable and useful. There is love and beauty in both darkness and light. Without darkness everything would become very shallow and stagnant. There would be no depth of emotion. Both light and darkness are part of Divine truth and existence. There’s no inherently right or wrong, good or bad as all is a reflection of Source.
Without darkness we would not be able to see the light. To see the contrast of things.
Darkness and suffering is not the same. Imbalance between light and darkness causes suffering.
Too much light can also cause suffering. Balance between light and darkness is the natural state. We’re not here to suffer.
Darkness is a cauldron of creation that brings new light. Look into space. That’s why it works so well to be in the void when giving birth to new ideas.
Repressed Darkness needs to be Expressed for there to be balance. For healing to take place because ego is not real. There’s love and light in everything.
Holiday celebrations are not Aligned with Divine truth since time is an illusion. Celebrations like Christmas are a lie since Jesus is not real. Festivities are not meant to be reserved for particular chosen dates. Love, joy and warmth are not reserved for special times of the year. It is given freely and unconditionally in the now. Since the now is all that is I should always indulge myself because abundance is the truth in the now, always. Full-time Fiesta. To eat foods that are not tasty is not love, it is survivalism. Food should not only be tasty, it should always taste delicious. There are no foods that are unhealthy to eat as the energy of Source Love is the only energy that exists. Why certain foods seem unhealthy is because of fears and false beliefs. A birthday celebration once a year is a huge insult because it can never compare to how celebrated the child is in higher dimensions. We celebrate our existence every “second”. We celebrate New second every second. Happy new second! Cheers! Happenings in the universe happen every second. Something new and interesting, exciting to observe and explore is constantly taking form.
False female stereotypes
Lower parasitic entities like priests and popes designed several outfits for people with boobs and rosebush like the veiled Virgin Mary sitting knitting and Janice in pink hotpants. Another stereotype in costume is the Barbie doll. Barbie girls have the snake energy of the priesthood. They’re vibrating in the energy of the snake in a female body. They are in a female body and are having errors with their ID cards. They are having trouble absorbing the fairy food. They view the fairy from the eye of a snake on the ground and become a clouded judge for the fairy. They have a distorted view on the fairy as a fuck doll. They’re projecting their own bimboness on the fairy. The bimbo is not real because the Goddess Sophia is a genius. Sophia means wisdom. The priesthood designed a narrow outfit for the fairy to keep the fairy from flying. Turn her into an object so that he can feel cockalorum in his delusional mind in order to harvest fairy food. He is using the fairy as a dumpster because of his lousiness and shame over his sexual perversion. The fairy is a fairy and the vampires are projecting with sexist shit. The babygirl was not born with a short skirt, high heels and lipstick on. The Rams have molded the female into a form to suit his needs. Trying to fence her in so that she knows her place. She is made Invisible. Her personality is not visible underneath concealer. They have decided what is important and valuable and decided that the perceived masculine traits and ways of being are what is important and valuable and the perceived feminine are not. Turning things into their advantage and smearing the barbie doll with mascara. The miniature men are also ruling the fashion and beauty industry so they are making the rules and deciding what the model should look like and be like. People have the right to dress however they want and look like they want without being judged or disrespected so these gender roles are very unfair. The ice skating princess was given a shock pink dress with frills bought in a second hand store. The Barbie doll in the toy store is not wearing a suit because she is not expected to have any powerful positions in a man’s world. A man with a suit does not prove anything to me as the suit is not a symbol for power, it’s just a piece of fabric. Toy cars are not sold in the “girls section” in the toy store. The girl is not expected to have any control of her destination in life. Some men act as though cars would be so much more important than fashion for example. Environmentally unfriendly cars are damaging the planet, poisoning Mother Earth. Cars Are toxic Because The ego is driving. It’s a collective rape on Mother Earth. When Darth Vader drives the car he drives the car down into the ditch, into the abyss…
I have been carrying much rage over this oppression, being dishonored and belittled as a person. When I am writing a person I mean a female because as a female I am primarily a person and not a gender. No one can oppress me because of my gender because I am not a gender. I am a person. I am primarily a female but I have both feminine and masculine energies. I am not my body. I am not gender-bound. I am a unique creature and can’t be labeled.
I was harassed for several years and received complaints for my singing from a former neighbor. I also felt worked against by some people in a music school and folk University when I was singing there. This was carried over from the past life as Mary Magdalene. I wrote some about this in another blog-post called Neighbors and the landlord blacklisted.
The female neighbor who harassed me and tried to silence me and prohibit me from singing had a painting of mother Mary on the wall. I could see it from outside when I walked past her apartment. She was also a Virgo. She had the energy of Queen Elizabeth, The Virgin Queen.
She was ruling me since I had forgotten my own power because of the disconnect from my solar plexus power chakra.
The more humble and gracious the more the ego shadow will take over. The big bad wolf comes and takes Little Red Riding hood. That’s why King Henry was ruling me as well in the past life as Anne Boleyn, because I had repressed my power. My repressed masculine energy showed up very strong in Henry.
Energy separated is what it is and neither bad or evil because only love is real.
The name of the landlord who sent me the complaint letters from my neighbor was Peder which is a Swedish form of Peter. He had the energy of Simon Peter. That was not a coincidence.
Queen Elizabeth, The false Virgo Virgin Queen was an old remnant idea from the patriarchy. She was chaste, controlled and coldblooded. Anne McKenzie felt undermined as a virgin mother and was subconsciously ruling as Virgin Queen Elizabeth because she wanted to return as a queen.
Virgo is a lie because I am a Taurus ruled by Venus. The only real existing planet is Venus because It vibrates in the energy of love and only love is real. Mars is the ego and not real. It’s not the masculine energy, just my fears of the masculine energy. Since the disconnect between the masculine and feminine energies are not real but a dream, planets that are not real were created because Venus is The only real planet. Time and distance are an illusion and not real. The illusive distance creates an illusion of time. Since love is Unity there is only one planet and that is Venus. So the energy of Christos is also Venus energy because Sophia and Christos are one.
Mother Mary was a virgin mother because of guilt feelings over her sexuality. The guilt feelings were carried over from Eve because she did not want to get pregnant and give birth to sons of the ego. She was not meant to become a mother because she is a child.
Anne McKenzie got food poisoned by too much gluten and flew down as a fairy to the elemental realm.
She is extremely traumatized and self-punishing. Feeling undermined as Virgin Mary with beliefs that she has to be an adult.
As Queen Anne Boleyn I was also disconnected from my throat chakra and was limited in my self expression. Also The disconnect from my root chakra made me feel unsupported by other people. I did not feel like I had a safe Foundation. Anne Boleyn becoming a queen was set for disaster. The tarot card of the tower was inevitable. Why it would not work for Anne Boleyn being a queen was because I was disconnected from African Eve who was the original queen so I was not in my truth. When I flew down here in etheric form, because the feminine energies are air and ether, the African Eve was the grounding personification. It’s not that the feminine does not have a personality because she does but the more dense, the more personified, the more masculine, the more ego. I was not grounded in my lower chakras with Eve. I was asleep and dreaming. I was not in my true reality in England.
Queen Anne Boleyn had very high demands on herself. Demands that no one could live up to. I felt an enormous pressure on myself and felt that I must live up to expectations. I was so closely watched and monitored. It’s a horrendous thought that the child would not be unconditionally loved and allowed to be a child but having to have such high demands on herself and learn to be graceful and responsible and behave like a lady.
Henry von dumb wrote me cheesy love letters. He had no charm. No wonder he felt the need to enlarge himself in such pathetic ways. In every way he could…The gifts that I received from Henry really did not say much because gifts and diamonds that are not given from the heart have no value. Henry only gave me gifts as blackmail. He viewed me as one of his possessions and ruled me with an iron hand. I was a codependent child in survival mode because of the disconnect from Christos. I was half and lacking the energy from Christos, the King of hearts. Henry was not a King in my eyes. He was a miniature man. One of the worst Psychopaths who have walked this Earth. It is false that the King has a higher status than the Queen because in higher dimensions Sophia and Christos are equal.
Anne Boleyn was not supposed to give birth to babies.The monarchy forced me to give birth to a baby but I did not want to have any children Because I was a child myself and not a mother. I was not meant to give birth to babies. Especially not a son like Henry wanted because it’s not the truth to give birth to Sons of the ego because Christos only has a daughter.
I did fuck around in the past life as Anne Boleyn as well. Because Henry didn’t know how to do it. He was a lousy lover but what could be expected from a coarse caveman like him. I was being judged as a whore but I did not sleep with all of those men that I was accused of sleeping with. I did not sleep with my brother. I did sleep with Mark Smeaton.
Even if I was “guilty” of adultery I did not deserve to get killed for my actions. That would never have happened today in a Royal House. The church allowed royalty to kill and execute in the name of God.
Henry called me a witch when I got angry and spoke up for myself. If it had been today he would have called me a bitch. My anger was pretty justified. Anyone would have gone crazy in the long run having to deal with a psychopath like that.
I get angry when I read articles on the web about Anne Boleyn being called a bitch because I was setting boundaries with Henry and the cardinal. A man does not get called a bitch if he is getting angry over unethical behavior because it is more acceptable for a man to raise his voice and not accept unethical behavior. Men have managed to continue ruling the world and stay at their top positions by using ruler tactics with threats of violence or execution to silence women and keep women at their place or getting rid of them. They have been controlling and manipulating women for ages by threats and using physical violence to silence women and keep women powerless.
The view on women that it is not ladylike to speak up or set boundaries is so incredibly crappy and outdated and false. Henry was the worst bitch.
I also think it was disrespectful to put out my private personal letters that I had written to people in books and online publicly. I think that it’s important to respect people’s integrity….
Anne Boleyn was deeply spiritual but not much into traditional religion or Christianity. I kept secret my interest in witchcraft and magic out of fear of people accusing me of being a witch. I was fascinated with Merlin and Camelot. I also liked that in the parallel life as Anne McKenzie.
Those Psychopathic misogynist murderers who executed me could not accept that a woman was smarter than them so they had to get together and plan an attack on me, spread nasty rumors to get Henry to want to get rid of me but I am unstoppable. Those faceless cowards can burn for eternity. They had to find some idiotic reason for a woman to be intelligent like she must be using witchcraft, using their male power to try and get me out of the way just because they thought they could…
Like I wrote before the monarchy is governed by the church. They are the same energy as the patriarchy and papacy. Because the Roman catholic church and the Draconian Plantard’s nestled into the Mary Magdalene bloodline. The Kingdom of the monarchy is ego and a lie as there is only a Queendom in Maryland where EVE original is the only Queen of this earth. Anne Boleyn was a veiled Eve. She became the veiled Virgin Queen of the patriarchy. I wanted to remove these rapist branches from my Queendom. My execution contributed to the church of England breaking away from the authority of the false Pope and the Roman Catholic church so to some extent I did succeed to create some change back then. I became a martyr.
The Anne McKenzie group rape was the collective rape of the ego. The patriarchy, the monarchy, the statesmen in connection with Anne Boleyn.
Anne Boleyn had become an adult because had repressed my inner child because of trauma. That’s why Eve was veiled because the queen was not visible because the child is the center. That’s why Anne Boleyn gave birth to a daughter, the virgin queen Elizabeth because she gave birth to the ego and put others before herself. Anne Boleyn was wearing a theater mask because she was not an adult but a child. She was a child and the child is the center, not the kings and queens of the ego.
Why Henry was married to Catherine of Aragon of Spain before Anne Boleyn was because she was my repressed Spanish energy. She was a repressed aspect of me because I had repressed my Mexican and Spanish energy, locked the door and thrown away the key. I also lived a past life in Spain as a woman called Maria Soares.
My best friend when I was a child in Sollefteå was named Katarina, a Swedish form of Catherine and she was a Sagittarius like Catherine of Aragon as well. That was no coincidence. She looked a bit Mexican and also traveled to Spain when she was older. She was my repressed Mexican and Spanish energy.
The Mexican child Janice was raped and forced to live on the terms of the civilized society.
There were politicians who sexually used Janice as well and a Jehovah’s Witness priest kidnapped her. This was also about the collective group grape of the ego.
The British are fake and artificial.
The British energy is about getting rid of unwanted thoughts and ideas. The British virus originated from Simon Peter of the Roman Catholic Church. Anne Boleyn wanted to remove rapist Simon Peter who nestled in with the Roman Catholic Church in the Mary Magdalene bloodline.
The Mayan Indians are the true evolved culture of origin. They are perceived as primitive by the “civilized” citizen. By the ego in other words. But it is the ego that is primitive. Since time is an illusion the mainstream culture did not evolve here on Earth. We can’t evolve with the ego. The ego took over the grounds of the already evolved Indian culture and today I see an artificial mainstream culture of the ego which is not my truth. It is focused on money, materialism and technology and it is starved of true spirituality.
It is natural to be instinctual, wild and spontaneously creative. The mind plans and thinks too much. To be in flow is the natural state.
The Mayan Indians are self-reliant. They do not depend on or adapt to society. They think for themselves and do what they want.
They live freely and uncontrolled. Following their hearts intuition and their spiritual guidance only.
They create and live in their own communities.
The British energy is a healing rain shower energy. Because I am on a healing journey. The British energy is very influenced by the Christianity of Pisces in Israel.
Also Virgo perfectionism carried over from Eve in the age of Virgo.
Fishy religion of the false Christ Jesus and gluten bread for basic needs is a lie because in Mexico the Mayans eat cornbread.
Dreaming the fishy age of Pisces Neptunium in deep slumber.
Ariel and Poseidon under the water surface sleeping in a golden pond. How is it you sing anything, Ariel?
Fish out of water. Subconscious insights. Collecting pearls at the bottom of the ocean.
I have so much information about the past life as Anne Boleyn but I’m not going to go into all of that in this blog-post. I’m thinking about maybe writing a book about my past lives.
I Incarnated in a male body as African Imhotep in Egypt to ground my masculine energies to have the ability to make changes in the world on a larger scale as the masculine throat chakra is connected to communication, the solar plexus is connected to personal power and the root chakra is connected to manifestation and materialization.
I was a high priest, doctor, magician, architect of the first pyramid in Egypt and had many other occupations as well. However I lost my power because of guilt feelings and self punishment because of the romantic and sexual relationship with King Djoser who was cheating on the Queen with me. We were both bisexual and had relationships with both men and women. We got busted during the sexual act. Imhotep felt a lot of shame and guilt for that. Punishing himself for that. But there was a very deep and beautiful love between Imhotep and Djoser. But Imhotep was cheating with the ego because in higher dimensions there is only Christos and Sophia.
The relationship between Imhotep and King Djoser and the cheating was carried over to the life of Anne Boleyn.
Imhotep’s self-punishment over his primitive nature and sexuality was carried over from Eve. The self-punishment of Anne McKenzie was carried over from the past life as Mary Magdalene. Christian brainwash causes false belief systems, sexual repression, guilt feelings and a Madonna-whore complex. The virgin mother Simon Peter stole the power from Imhotep because he was the ego and the false beliefs of Eve and Imhotep.
Jesus was the distorted and repressed energy of Imhotep. Under the sleeping age of Pisces. Imhotep being betrayed by the Collective and not being listened to was because he was robbed of his power and forced into submission because the ego of the collective took over.
In fact Imhotep was Merlin. British sorcery got its roots from Imhotep’s Egyptian magic. Imhotep was also a poet. The British poetry was his energy as well. Anne Boleyn also loved poetry.
Racism, war and terror
After the past life as Anne Boleyn I was a good girl actress named Elisabeth in Switzerland in the 1700s. I met a man who was an actor, poet and soldier named Friedrich at a dance. The relationship was extremely romantic. My higher self told me that the love story was very similar to the movie “Shakespeare in Love”. I got cancer after the murder of my inner child and died when I was in my forties.
I lived a parallel life in Austria as a circus ballerina. My name was Cecilia. She was my masculine aspect and not real. I was in a romantic relationship with an African piano player who was an aspect of Imhotep. . There was a war in Austria. I got kidnapped by Russian soldiers and was taken to a cellar where I was starved. I lived mostly on bread and water for a long time. I was forced to dance half-naked for one soldier who shot me to death. My boyfriend, the piano player was also shot to death.
The wars in the Middle East and the Second World War were carried over from the Judaism in Israel which was originally carried over from a war in Egypt during the lifetime of Imhotep. It is an outer manifestation of the inner conflict between two extremes. Imhotep wanted to get rid of false aspects of himself.
My first clear memories of my current incarnation was from a very poor neighborhood in the ghetto in Sollefteå, northern Sweden when I was five years old. There were a lot of foreigners and immigrants in the block. I was used to being around people from different cultures and races from a very young age and was playing with both Swedish children and children from other cultures, mostly gypsies. I thought that the immigrants in the block received unfair treatment sometimes. They became the black sheep sometimes when the Swedes in the block were just as rowdy criminals or even worse criminals than them. Evil is not real. Metaphorically robbery means experiencing an identity crisis or suffering from loss. To be robbed can also indicate that someone has stolen my success and taken credit for something that I did. Violence and murder is about wanting to get rid of a false aspect of oneself because the ego wants to protect the personality. Psychopaths, narcissists and energy vampires are not real. Also because I’m dreaming, the masculine can appear hostile because of repression
Anckarström, the Ego, shot Gustav the Third Because he had stolen the power from Imhotep.
Why I am Finnish Sami in Sweden today was because I flew down Moomin valley because of an underlying Moomintroll inferiority complex carried over from Jenny in the past life in Sweden in the seventies. I had some unfinished business here. Jenny had a feeling that she was not welcome here in Sweden. She did not feel that she belonged here. She experienced much racism in Sweden. The inferiority complex was originally carried over from Eve because she gave birth to the ego and put others before herself. Jenny was a repressed masculine aspect of me but my feminine Moomin character was more like Ninni, the invisible child because the feminine is not very visible here and because my parents are fictive and not real. Ninni was also in the Swedish Movie “Guttersnipes” from 1974 which is also about me. I love Finland and feel at home there. I feel more connected to the Finns than the Swedes. Because the Finns were originally Mexican. I feel a greater sense of belonging with the Finnish people than with the Swedes and also with people from some other cultures. But I don’t meet a lot of Finnish people in Sweden today. They are a minority in Sweden. There is a lot of racism against Finns in Sweden.
I was feeling left out because I locked myself out from the lower chakras. I had a fear of groups being against me, carried over from the smear campaign from the patriarchy in the past life as Mary Magdalene. I became an independent stray cat. I felt like if I adapted to the collective I would lose my originality and sense of individuality and would become boxed in Victorian boxes. I felt suffocated and choked like myself was repressed and the world fake and the wolf ate me up. The EGO made themselves kings and queens and took my power away from me.
I have to stand up for myself and my intuition despite the smear campaign by the patriarchy. I have been extremely oppressed and undermined here because of my race, gender, for being a child, for being poor, for my spirituality, for my contact with the psychiatry Etc. I have been oppressed in all kinds of possible ways. The ego does not have the driver’s license.
I did not know about my Finnish roots until I was maybe seven years old or so when my mother mentioned with shame in her voice that we have Finnish roots. She never mentioned my Sami heritage. I found that out through ancestral research when I was in my thirties. I have the Finnish and Sami genes in all four of my ancestral lines because the Mary Magdalene Christ bloodline is in all of my ancestral lines since my genes go straight back to Eve. I found it peculiar that my grandparents never mentioned their Sami heritage to me and my sister. I had noticed that they had Sami paintings on the wall and Sami handicrafts etc but they never spoke about Sami people that I remember. I was looking at a photo of my grandmother’s mother and Mentioned to my mother that her appearance looked Sami. Then my mother got angry and said that we have no Samis in our family… She hated the Sami people. When I was listening to Sami jojk music when I was younger she slammed up the door and said are you listening to some fucking jojk…??!! She did not want me to listen to jojk music. I became rebellious and wanted to wear Sami jewelry to rebel against my mother. I love the Finnish language but I cannot even speak or think about Finnish words without hearing my mother’s critical voice in my head. She was a critical racist teacher in the past life as Finnish Sami Jenny and she was also a critical French Teacher in the past life as Janice. For the biggest part of my life my mother verbally and emotionally abused me to the point that I almost completely broke down. Then after I broke contact with her she stalked me persistently. I was also physically abused by my fathers wife. My relationship with my mother has been a horrid bloody nightmare with violent extremely frustrating quarreling, controlling, constricted smothering, overly critical spiteful projections and psychotic mindfuck.
”Lighten up. You deserve nothing but harsh words thrown at you, the way you behave. You don’t do anything you should. You don’t do what you’re told. Don’t you think I feel bad enough already as it is. I am tired after working all day and my body aches. Scrub the floor! Hurry up!! Be glad that you get food on the table every day, spoiled brat. Show some gratitude. You should not think that anyone feels sorry for you so stop feeling sorry for yourself, silly kid. You haven’t been good enough. You haven’t been disciplined enough so you only got yourself to blame and sour like a lemon you are too. Always beaming with happiness. Haven’t I given you all that a mother could give…? How dark circles you have under your eyes. Put on some make-up, so you’ll look better. You look like you had seven harsh years. You have to smile. What’s wrong with you…?? You don’t feel good….? You don’t feel good…? You don’t feel good…?? And think about how you are walking when you walk outside. The way you’re walking you can’t walk. The neighbors might think there’s something wrong with you, that you’re a junkie or alcoholic or something when you walk that slowly with your head bent down. I’m warning you, we will not go on vacation to Denmark if you do not lighten up….”
My mother, grandmother and sister all have the middle name of Elisabeth. Derived from the virgin Queen Elizabeth. That’s no coincidence because I had rejected her within me. My grandmother loved the Swedish Royal Family. She was a bit snobbish like my mother who loved the British and French. Fine snotty missy ladies. I had a strong inner conflict within me. I wanted to dethrone the virgin Queen Elizabeth. The shame and inferiority complex of The Finnish Sami is intertwined with Sami Jenny and Iceland Maria who was a Shaman seal feeder. I lived a life in Norway named Cecilia. I was also a Sami in that life. It was a parallel life to the life of Spanish Maria Soares. I also was a shaman in a past life in the Amazon and Janice was a Mayan Indian. I have been a minority most of my lives because the ego has taken over my grounds and has been ruling me. That is why the Arab and the African do not have a high status in society. That is why the Africans became slaves. But Eve Janice was the original Queen of this Earth and will always be Queen. It’s Eve Janice’s world. She owns it all. Imhotep is a very powerful man. Eve Janice and Imhotep hold the power.
The patriarchy are actors and not being real and authentic. They are holding up a false facade and trying to act like they have it all together. The Bible and most other religious texts are full of judgmental preaching, condemnation and satanic ramblings from the primitive reptilian ego mind. Punishment for not living up to unreasonable ideals and expectations. Party poppers, acting like controlled spiritual robots. That’s why the biggest religions are so disciplined because they are fear-based. Illusive war-power of Mars. They are incomplete, lacking creativity, loving flow and playfulness. Discipline and struggle is not aligned with Divine truth because in higher dimensions we can easily manifest and create our own realities.
There can be beauty and love in anything. There is no right or wrong. Personally I find mess beautiful.
This is a very low dimension. We are deep down in the depths of unconsciousness. It is not possible to be perfect with the ego down here while we are having the human experience. The patriarchy wants to give the impression that they are helping people but they are not helping anyone by trying to be perfect. They are not opening up for and allowing others to be real and authentic. It is the most beautiful gift you can give to someone to make them feel unconditionally loved.
Why perceived flaws arise within me is for me to learn to accept and love all parts of myself without judging them as good or bad because there is beauty and love in everything. l am extremely loved and accepted by Source also with the ego. The ego is not real. The ego is just beliefs. Only love is real and love is all that is. I am loved when I am greedy, filled with rage, sadistic, screaming profanity and throwing food on the floor. When I am rebellious, sulking, snappy, emotional, sloppy, messy, whining, impulsive, explosive and outrageous. The child is naturally instinctual greedy impatient and sloppy and has to be allowed to be a child because the child is the truth. The ego is unevolved. It got false beliefs that the child is not perfect and evolved. But the child is evolved because she is the higher chakras. The ego has no right to rule the child.
Everything is the way it is and I am supposed to experience everything. The ego is not real. Only love is real. Judgments of the ego mind arise because of false beliefs taught. The ego mind just reacts to the beliefs it’s been taught. It created views of certain things and behaviors as negative. Enlightenment is about transforming those beliefs and turning darkness into light.
The Child is the truth
Rejoice the almighty Goddess child in all of her splendor, love, beauty, power, genius and greatness. The sacred knowledge of the Goddess and her Divine gifts. The Crystalline rain Diamond Cosmic shower of glorious blinding light illuminates all Darkness. All falsehood washes away. Everything becomes illuminated in The Glorious light of the Goddess. Bring flowers and roses for the Goddess at her shrine to honor the Goddess and cry oceans of Tears For the Love of the Goddess.
The 3D trolls on this earth are child oppressors. Oppression against children and gender, race, sexual orientation is equally horrendous. The child is the truth. The child sits behind the desk at the radio station. The child was evolved and perfect the way she was when she incarnated here from the Heavens. She did not need to be molded and formed by the ego of adult impersonators who have rancid eggs in the fridge. It’s not possible to mature and evolve with the ego. The adult impersonators in this world are not mature or adult. They are stuck in old wheel tracks living in medieval plague. They are static and fixed, not flowing in creativity because they are stuck in old streams of consciousness. No one is more adult or sensible than me because I’m the only one here. The child is always unconditionally loved and respected for the magnificent miracle that she is. Because she knows that she is made of diamonds and stardust, radiating star light. The Child and grownup are sometimes called childish like it was something negative, meaning that they are immature but it is not the child that is immature, it is the ego that is immature. The child does not have much ego. The child is worthy of deep respect. The child is not feeling valuable as an individual because she was reduced into a miniature doll. The child knows. The child does not want more apple juice. The child does not like prickly pears, discolored by grace. The imagination and creativity of the child is channeled from higher dimensions. So the child is not making things up and just being imaginative. The child looks into space and gives birth to gigantic magical butterflies. The child has a cosmic giraffe view in the cornfield and expands in the Amazon. When grownups tell the child that she is making things up or that she is being silly and childish they are disrespecting the child and making her doubt her intuition and truth. That is why the child would doubt her intuition at times because she was taught to think very logically and use a scientific language of the ego in this world. I’m not joking in any way. I’m never joking. Don’t want to be a clown. I’m just being myself and being brutally honest. I want to be taken seriously. The ego knowledge blocks the uniqueness, individuality and creativity of the child. In school the child was taught to think very logically and this causes the child to abandon a large portion of her intuition, imagination. It made her forget the original symbolic dream language. She drifted further and further away from her roots. The child did not need to go to school and learn knowledge of the ego. Knowledge of the ego creates suffering. It made the child age and become an adult. The child was not supposed to become an adult or be anything that she is not. So-called teachers in this world have no right to teach because they don’t know Divine truth they are spreading lies and causing disturbances In the electromagnetic field. The school is a nightmare of the ego taking over and telling me what to think and forcing me to become adult. Let me be let me be let me be let me be let me be and let me be f*** you f*** you f*** you f*** you f*** you f*** you f*** you f*** you f*** you f*** Nazi Missy snot Missy My feet ache My heart aches My throat is puckered. I don’t need to learn anything from anyone or take in any knowledge from outside of myself because I have everything within me. So-called adults think that they are having high positions in society, working as teachers, doctors and politicians etc. But those are not high positions in society. Those are very low positions in society. Because the school, health care, political system and so many other systems in society are very incredibly imbecilic. Most systems in society are lies and was not supposed to exist. They were created by the ego because of the Illusion of the disconnect.
The child was not meant to stop playing just because she was aging. The child is the truth so the child does not grow up. Time is an illusion. Humans invented the clock. So the child is always a child and the ego is not real. It is the illusion of the ego that causes the child to age. In higher dimensions the beings are very childlike, playful and creative. They have the giraffe view under a violet waterfall. They are humanoid and animalistic in nature. A Lucia becomes very childlike because she returns to her truth and innocence. She has cleared the ego that was blocking her inner child. The child can’t be playing unrestricted on a narrow square. Playing is the truth. The child was not meant to drift away from playing. Survivalism is not real. Work and struggle is not real. Those are false ideologies of the ego. The child is the center, not the lordship of the ego. The lordship of the ego gets impatient in the garden and wants to visit the market to buy some new gadgets. Materialism of the ego and city abundance took over from the abundance of nature and The Goddess because The Goddess is the nature and the center. The ego is not the center. The city is lacking spirituality. Living close to and making nature the center is being in tune with spirituality. The feminine was cast aside as a country singer with a low status in society. Christian carols have the highest status but they are not true spirituality.
The matriarchy is the natural truth that we have to return to
There was originally a matriarchy on earth and was meant to be that way. There was originally paradise on earth and that was because of the matriarchy. It was meant to remain that way. The matriarchy is the natural truth that we have to return to. It is either matriarchy or patriarchy. A matriarchy is natural because the feminine is more evolved than the masculine and the feminine higher chakras are more spiritual and spirit always has to lead the way.
The Goddess culture is indestructible. It is ever present everywhere. It is in everything, everywhere. It is the universe breathing. It is the heart of the universe multiplying in a myriad of forms. The Sacred Heart Of the Almighty Goddess is love and abundance. I will rearrange, because it’s in order. Make a mess and get back to Wilderness. Riot Anarchy Commando Wildfire spreading over these poisoned Church grounds.
The Corona virus is an ego virus
It is not that the masculine energies are ego because the ego is not real. In the highest dimensions we don’t have an ego. However the lower masculine root chakra and the solar plexus are connected to the ego and that is what created a fear of the masculine. There was the ego virus in Lemuria, the fall of Atlantis because of a misuse of technology which was also the ego taking over. This ego virus was then carried over to Adam and Eve. The ego was the snake in paradise. In the age of Aries, ego from Mars came in strongly. This was carried over to Mary Magdalene when she got contaminated by demons, it was the demons of the ego of the patriarchy. Today we can see it again with the Corona virus which is an ego virus. The Corona virus locked the heart just like the demons locked the heart in Lemuria. Why the Corona virus came from a bat is because the bat is symbolic of dreaming. Batman in the cellar. Why it came from China is because of the strong survivalism of the ego in China. Strong conservative conformity and censorship. The ego wants to protect itself by playing small and not sticking out. That’s why we have the Horrible law of Jante in Sweden. Individuality is the opposite of ego. The Red Dragon is asleep underneath the Earth. The Corona virus was carried over from the Roman Catholic Church and the Plantards. They are false branches in the Mary Magdalene Christ bloodline. They are ego and not real.
NO to vaccine
I am blacklisting region Västerbotten because they sent me a letter that said “soon it’s your turn to vaccinate yourself against covid-19.” Trying to palm off. That is not OK. The letter also says that vaccination is the most effective way to avoid getting seriously ill or dying of covid-19. What do they know about that? I would never vaccinate myself against covid-19 because I do not want to alter my body and system in an artificial way. There might be side effects and the vaccination can lead to difficulties in thinking clearly and block intuition and abilities to connect to spirit. The vaccine will stay in the body for the rest of my life and that is not worth it. Getting vaccinated is symbolic of being forced upon other people’s views and opinions. So many laws and rules created by the 3D people on this Earth (both written and unwritten) are completely unreasonable and way too constricted and confined. They are not aligned with Divine truth. I am not a robot, I’m a free spirit. No one has the right to rule over me in any way.
We are living in a big brother is watching you Society but I don’t have any brothers, never had any brothers. I only have a father. Big brother is not watching me since I don’t have any brothers and the ego is small and does not have any right to rule me, oppress me or question me and my authority. I decide what is right, true and cool. Karlsson on the roof is disgusting. Janice Longstocking Long-standing outstanding is so much more powerful. She is the strongest girl in the universe.
I’m not here to help people
Before you write me any messages asking for my help I will say this: Don’t do that. I’m not here to help people. It’s not for my highest good to help people. I know that some people believe that Mary Magdalene came to earth to help people but I did not come here originally to help people or to be some sort of Savior for humankind. Why I can’t help people:
⁕ I’m a child and extremely traumatized. I can’t be responsible. ⁕ I am receptive and not giving. ⁕ I should not do anything I don’t want to do ⁕ To put myself first is self-love and love is the truth.
⁕ It would be extremely self-sacrificing of me to help people because I have been forced to put other people before myself for as long as I can remember because of the man’s world we’re living in and have been unseen and unheard for centuries and been treated like a doormat. There needs to be balance and compensation. I deserve to rest and be served. I should not have to lift a finger again.
⁕ I deserve to be completely free and spiritually autonomous now and only be around evolved, healthy and loving people who are not in need of my help.
⁕ By posting this blog-post it may seem as though I’m helping people but that is really an illusion. Duality is an illusion. There is only me here so I’m only helping myself and when I do that the outer world shifts.